#and you personally would prefer seeing the fallout of the character making the 'wrong' choice and having to fix things after

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

I am once again reminding everyone that

"I think that character will regret that decision; I can see the bad consequences coming, and if they were a real person I would yell at them." (you were engaged enough with the characters that they feel like real people capable of making their own choices)

"I would have liked the story better if the character had made a different decision" (a matter of personal preference with no bearing on the quality of the writing itself, or even whether you agree with the decision that was made in-universe)

and "Given what we've seen from this character previously, the writer having them make that decision broke my immersion" (an actual critique)

are all different statements and do not mean the same thing, even if they can all be phrased as "I don't like that the character made that decision"

[lady-raziel]

Hi! I've lately started expanding my video game repertoire and I would love advice on whether or not I'd enjoy any of the Fallouts. I'm more into time/colony management and simulations, but your love for the Fallout series peaked my interest. Should I take a leap of faith? Thanks :))

Hey! Love the question! I'll give a bit of context info on "why Fallout?" (for you and anyone else seeing this post) and then tell you what my take is.

First of all, a bit about Fallout and why I think the series is unique and worth people's time within the game landscape as a whole, just for background: there are a lot of good post-apocalyptic games out there, there are a lot of games with irreverent and dark humor out there, and there are a lot of RPG games that involve stories that prompt reflection on deeper themes. But what I think Fallout brings to the table beyond the combination of the above that makes it rise above the average enjoyable game series are two things:

Fallout, in each iteration, is rooted in its sense of setting. While this includes the recognizable aesthetics and icons of the series, it's more about how each story's placement within the larger world reflects the themes of Fallout at large. The locations within post-apocalyptic America focused on in the games (and the show) are fundamental to why Fallout works and is influential in a way that stories set in generic post-apocalyptic settings (or in solely fictional locations) often can't be. Each of the settings chosen are "characters" that further the thematic messages of the universe. (That's why, IMO, trying to set a Fallout anywhere but North America wouldn't work--it wouldn't be the same story.)

The series is known for its satirical commentary on America, war, and human nature as a whole. It doesn't take itself too seriously all the time, and thus is very fun and funny to enjoy. A lot of people are fans for this reason alone! But at the same time there really is an intense amount of deeper meaning-- not just in the "best" (subjective) parts but nearly everything, given someone wants to take the time to look. It's as deep as one WANTS it to be, and many other games can't manage that. It can be an important mirror to understanding real world events in a unique way.

As far how to go about approaching Fallout (and what you specifically might enjoy most), I think a fundamental pitfall that nearly everyone gets tripped up by is viewing the entire franchise as a uniform story and universal experience. In truth, while they all share the same world, I think a lot of the conflict between fans themselves (as to what the BEST game is/how things should be) and between fans and the creators' choices comes from a key misunderstanding. Fallout's stories may all share a universe, but every single installment offers a different experience with different assets that appeals to different desires.

Each prioritizes different things-- and people have a tendency to gravitate towards the experience that elevated the elements they prefer. The issue comes when audiences struggle to accept that the variation in experiences is an ASSET, because naturally they think the version that appealed to them the most should be applied universally. At its core I think this is why Fallout fans are always fighting about what is "good" or "bad," and why there will always be a portion of fans upset at ANY new content. If it doesn't reflect their preferred experience, they think things are going in the wrong direction.

All of this is a VERY long way of saying that I think when people are trying to approach this series, it's key to match the elements and type of experience you like best to the installment(s) instead.

Everyone will have their own take on good/bad/etc. and it will all conflict-- so trying to come at it from that angle can prove to be a barrier for many entering the series. I would take that discourse with a grain of salt and optimize for personal enjoyment.

For you personally, based on enjoying colony management and simulations, I would start with Fallout 4 and Fallout Shelter.

Fallout 4 (PC, Playstation, Xbox) has a pretty advanced settlement building, resource management, and crafting system that involves creating networks of settlements within the open-world map, and crafting to upgrade those locations (via infrastructure, defense, resources, etc.). It's easy to spend hundreds of hours solely focusing on playing with this, completely outside of any quests or role-playing elements! I think this would appeal to you and allow you to dip your feet into the world even if FPS or RPG aspects involving a complex story may not be your primary goal.

I'd also definitely try out Fallout Shelter--this is an entire free-to-play construction/resource management sim that you can download as a mobile app (as well as PC, Playstation, Xbox, AND the Nintendo Switch). Some fans out there might scoff at including this in an official slate of Fallout games, but keep in mind what I said above about prioritizing for preferred experience. It's not story-heavy, but it is easy to get in to and fun to play especially for a low time investment! IMO it's a great way to get a feel for some of the world elements if engaging in one of the larger games seems daunting (or potentially cost prohibitive).

This post is already getting lengthy, so I won't take up more of your time. But if you (or anyone else) want a full writeup as to what I think each installment prioritizes, and why that appeals to given playstyles and desired experiences, I'm happy to do so! This series does have a little bit of something for pretty much anyone, it's sometimes just about knowing what to look for. 👍

[halfagone]

Hi Halfa! What's 3 DC fics you'd think would be interesting to include DP characters/tropes into?

And what's 3 DP fics do you think'd be interesting to include DC characters/tropes into?

(This isn't a ploy to fish fic recs, psshhhhhhh, noooooooooo)

Hello Anon! :D Don't take this the wrong way but I am giddy with excitement right now because I've been talking about this with friends and I am just squealing now that I get to ramble about it.

Now just to clarify, I'll probably use tropes more so than specific fics, because for one, I don't want to step on any author's toes. And two, I like those fics as they are and do not want to dirty them with my grubby hands. However! I can still give fic recs so you can get an idea of the kind of AU I'm talking about here. lol Not that you're fishing for them ofc, no not at all

(Added a Read More because apparently I have a lot of fic recs. :D Total: 17 (if I mathed right, that is))

DC Fics, Now With a Splash of ectoplasm DP

Stray Tim AU

He's technically also known as Catlad, but like- I prefer Stray (as if that isn't obvious by my Stray!Danny AU XD), but that's neither here nor there. In this AU, if the name didn't explain enough, he apprentices underneath Selina as her apprentice. Depending on the author's choice, it's either as a young child or after he leaves the Batfamily for one reason or another.

An example of this AU: timcat by drakefeathers. This fic actually got recommended to me earlier today (you know who you are) and it is so cute. He is so baby and I love him.

2. Reverse Robins AU

Now this is an AU I've talked about frequently, but for good reason. There are so many ways you can write this idea- Hell, can you imagine a Demon Twins AU with Reverse Robins- Hold on a sec, let me add a WIP to my spreadsheet...

Okay, back. Anyways, where was I? Oh right, REVERSE ROBINS! In this AU, Damian is actually the oldest Batkid, and Dick is the youngest. Depending on the AU, Dick can even be an ex-Talon, so just keep that in mind~ Almost unanimously, Tim is the Batkid that died instead of Jason, and becomes the Red Hood (sometimes he was Joker Junior in this AU as well which is... uh. If you look into those fics, make sure you read the tags religiously.)

An example for this AU: and oh, my heart (how can i face you now?) by weareallstardustfallen. And this fic is *chef's kiss* It's in Damian's POV, it's a gloriously long one-shot. I cannot recommend this enough.

3. Jason Todd Goes Home

There are multiple interpretations you can do with this AU. Sometimes he doesn't become Red Hood, sometimes he doesn't get dipped in the Lazarus Pit, it all really depends on what you want to do with it. I've technically written a fic with this idea, where Danny actually finds Jason and helps him claw out of his grave, subsequently returning him home. That fic is what was lost, found again. Five chapters, completed.

There are fics where Tim actually finds Jason first! Here's one called best laid plans by Valkirin. Highly recommend. Tim finds Jason first but then the League of Assassins find them too. >:3

On a different, yet similar note, we have a fic where Talia is actually a decent person and brings Jason back??? After dunking him in a Pit??? You love to see it. This one is Verdant by Cerusee.

DP Fics Now With DC Packing

Field Trip to the Ghost Zone

There are a decent number of these fics out there if you know where to find them. I feel like this one is self-explanatory, but basically- Danny's class takes either a planned or impromptu trip to the Ghost Zone. Very rarely does his secret identity survive the fallout. Now imagine if we put Damian's class on the school bus.

Some Gothamite kid, probably: "I don't remember The Magic School Bus going like this."

Marsalias' (in)famous Mortified is definitely one of them up there. They actually wrote a second field trip fic not long after completing Mortified, which is called School Bus in the Ghost Zone. So if you're in the process of reading Mortified, or maybe you can't commit to a long-form fic right now, this one might be for you.

Deathcomes4u also has two field trip fics you can read. One of them was for this year's Phic Phight called The Gloves Are Off. He-larious fic, cannot get enough of it. Also includes some very fun DP headcanons! The second is called The Trip. You're gonna want to read the tags before you explore this one, but what's up so far a very thrilling read.

There is also Stranded With My Class, but this one is on FF.net so you might want to turn on ALL your adblockers before you venture into that site.

2. Death Day :3

I've written a chapter about this in lex luthor's ascent but it's part of a larger plot so I hope no one feels pressured to read it. But in general this fic idea can be very heavy, BE CAREFUL if you explore it. You can have DC characters react to Danny's death day, you can give Jason or Damian or Cass- or pretty much any resurrected DC character you like- a death day. Spread the whump and angst, that's how we show our love.

Here is an example, also from Deathcomes4u: Anniversary. I really enjoy how this author writes the background characters as well. It's got a splash of humor and the Everlasting Trio makes me all soft. :')

Death Day Evolution by gamma_radio has some great worldbuilding and lore added to the concept. I love how they tied Danny gets new powers in this fic, and you gotta love the Cryptid Danny Fenton energy. XD

3. Partial Identity Reveals

Now this one is more self-indulgent for me, but I'm allowed to do that. XD I would've put simply Cryptid Danny, but it encompasses a little more than that in most cases, which is why I kept this title for it instead.

These are fics where Danny is revealed or shown to be Off™ somewhat, but in most cases they don't know the full extent of his secret identity. Most of the time it's just his powers or that he's not fully human, what have you. I love a good bombastic identity reveal, you know, but something about the subtler ones are more inspirational, if you will. lol

I think this is the type of AU that would suit a Batman detective story much more, and allows the DC characters more time and interaction into this new world- if you will- rather than throwing them straight in it. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense.

Shots Fired by RedGhost1010 is an exceptional fic (I believe this author is also the person who writes Stranded with My Class, mentioned earlier, just uses a different pen name on Ao3). However, please read the tags for it before you do. This fic can be triggering for some people. They also write what is probably my favorite Bad Parent Jack and Maddie fic, which is called Humans and Ghosts. Another one you probably should read the tags for. But please check out their other fics; I enjoy so many of them, but unfortunately not all of them fit this fic rec description. :\

Finally we have It's Like Time Stops by anthrop. I cannot tell you how many times I reread this fic way back when. It's a very tasty Outsider POV fic that gives a view into how things changed after the Accident, and it's a good study into how his classmates would have perceived it.

Whooo... that's a lot of fic recs. I hope you got some new things to read out of it at least! Have some fun, but make sure to take care of yourself and avoid the fics that just aren't for you. No one will blame you for it. <3

[jacksothereye]

OC Interview Questions

So @kemendin​  tagged me for this and I’m doin’ it. Real talk I don’t know lot of tumblr people but I’m taggin’ @biiigwinged and @chibikinesis and @a-pirate and @yourblues and @smilepal and @some27-url just because I like lookin at your blogs/characters. Feel free to tag me back if you wind up doin’ it!  I was torn on whether to go Cyberpunk or Fallout for this but Bastard Classic won out so here we go!

----

Name?  Muds. Yes. Really. 

Are you single?  And happy for it. Something something that song ain’t so very far from wrong or however it goes. 

Are you happy?  I have my moments. 

Are you angry? Every damn day. 

Are your parents still married? Sorry, I don’t believe in parents.  

=NINE FACTS=

Birth place? Boston. Technically. I guess. 

Hair color? Uh. Dark. 

Eye color? Also dark. Look it’s not like I lie awake staring into them lovingly or anything. 

Birthday? Why, you gonna buy me a drink?

Mood? Gently violent. You know. Just. Gently. Softly. Benignly violent. Sit back down, you’re fine. 

Gender? Shit which one do you mean by that? It’s the one where I have a dick and I’m totally good with it. 

Summer or winter? If I gotta hide a body? Summer. If I gotta do anything else… eh, fuck it, also Summer. I like the heat. 

Morning or afternoon? *Are* we talkin’ about hiding bodies? I feel like we’re not talkin’ about hiding bodies. Because if we’re hiding bodies, really you wanna do that shit at *night*, or at least early early morning, but - that wasn’t the question. What was the question? I’m takin’ the fifth. 

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love? Don’t be stupid.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in bad decisions. 

Who ended your last relationship? God. He said it was personal. 

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I mean it’s on them if they were that invested. 

Are you afraid of commitments? Afraid? No. Avoidant? ...Sure. 

Have you hugged someone within the last week? Oooooh pfshhhh nnnnooo. Actually I just hit 1,000 days hug free and I’m really trying to stay on the wagon this time. 

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Maybe, but the problem is I tend to shoot first and ask questions later.

Have you ever broken your own heart? I mean it’s on me if I was that invested. 

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust? Oh, well Lust is one of those big sins - you can’t really beat out on that. 

Lemonade or iced tea? Mix em together for science. 

Cats or dogs? Both useless. Unless it’s my dog. My dog’s better than those other dogs. 

A few best friends or many regular friends?  Many, many unapologetic criminals. 

Wild night out or romantic night in? Darlin’ if it ain’t wild either way what’s even the point?  

Day or night?  Depends on what I’m doin’ - don’t make me bring up the body thing again. 

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out? Four. Times. And let me tell you how much that cost me. 

Fallen down/up the stairs? Definitely up, that’s how you know the Daytripper’s workin’. 

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? Does ‘wanting something so badly I hurt someone’ count? 

Wanted to disappear? Please, if I’m doing my job right, you’ll never see me comin’ to begin with. 

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Smile or eyes? Oh always the eyes, that’s the big tell - people who can’t lie for shit? Look at their eyes. It’ll give it away every time. 

Shorter or taller?  Short of a super mutant I don’t see anyone bein’ taller than me. Hold it, what are we even talking about here?

Intelligence or attraction? Well, nine times outta ten being attractive isn’t gonna save your ass so I’d rather whoever this is not be an idiot. 

Hook-up or relationship? Whichever one doesn’t get me shot the next morning.  

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along? Sure but I think it helps that we do a lot of drinking and none of us are related.

Would you say you have a “messed up life”? No I’d say it’s pretty standard fuckin’ fare for the Commonwealth. 

Have you ever run away from home? Ohhh - ohohoh yeah. Yeah. Trust me. I’m the fuckin’ *best* at runnin’ away from home. 

Have you ever gotten kicked out? I kicked myself out, it was better that way. 

=FRIENDS=

Do you secretly hate one of your friends? I mean I hate all of them a little bit. I actually hate *everyone* a little bit. I feel like if I didn’t that’d probably be a sign that there’s something wrong with them. 

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?  No I consider all of them right bastards. 

Who is your best friend?  The rightest bastard of them all. See, he was like, best-friend-orphaned back in the day, so I adopted him as my best friend, cleaned him up, made him less sad and pathetic. It took a *lottttta* work teaching him how to re-socialize, but I think we’re makin’ real progress. I can almost go out in public with him and everything. 

Who knows everything about you? Fella. if I thought anyone was even gettin’ close, they’d be dead. That in mind, I’d watch how many more questions you ask. 

[theggning]

I Hate the Alternate Ending of Blind Betrayal, and Here's Why!

DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: Massive spoilers for Fallout 4 abound. This post discusses Blind Betrayal, a quest with suicide as a heavy theme. Content warning applies.

DISCLAIMER THE SECOND: This post discusses cut OFFICIAL content from Fallout 4 that has since been repurposed into multiple mods. I am not criticizing any modders or their implementations of this content. Mods are fun and people can enjoy whatever the hell kind of game experience they want with whatever mods they want.

I am ONLY interested in discussing the original cut content as Bethesda had written it, and how it would have impacted the story and lore of Fallout 4.

So, yeah, it seems there was originally going to be another way to conclude Blind Betrayal (BB).

As described in this Kotaku article (citing this post by Tumblr user tentacle-explosion,) there are unused audio files of Danse’s dialogue that show an alternate ending to his pivotal quest. These lines are the only evidence we have of this ending (suggesting that it was cut fairly early on, as no other actors/characters seem to have recorded for it.)

From what we can tell, in this alternate ending of BB, Danse comes up with a possible way out of the sticky situation re: his identity as a synth. According to the Brotherhood Litany, he is able to challenge Maxson’s authority as Elder via combat. If you agree to this idea, you go with Danse to challenge Maxson. The Paladin and the Elder duel one another, Danse wins, and Maxson dies. Then Danse names the Sole Survivor the new Elder-- or with a hard charisma check, you’re able to convince Danse to take the job himself. It is unknown how the main plot would have progressed beyond this point, as there is no other evidence of what being (or influencing) the Elder would have been like or what choices it would have given you.

There is understandable disappointment in learning that this ending was cut. Choices in games are great, and it could have been fun to have multiple different options for how to resolve the quest. In many gaming circles, people complain that this theoretical ending is superior to the one we got and shouldn’t have been axed. The Kotaku article calls it a “way better” ending, and you’ll see many players lamenting that it wasn’t implemented, saying Bethesda was bad at writing for cutting it, etc.

So why did Bethesda get rid of the Elder ending of BB?

In December 2020, after the Fallout 4 Cast Reunion, Danse’s voice actor Peter Jessop answered questions in a private signing session on his Instagram. Peter Jessop is an extremely kind and gracious man, an avid gamer, and a huge fan of Fallout. During the stream, he reflected on the alternate ending and remembered recording the lines, but stated the content was ultimately cut because Bethesda decided it was lore-breaking.

Peter Jessop is right. Bethesda was right. The Elder ending of BB is a bunch of dumb nonsense. It sucks, I hate it, and I’m glad they got rid of it. And now I’m going to tell you why!

SIDENOTE: King Shit of Fuck Mountain

There is no wrong way to play a single-player video game. If you are having fun, then you are accomplishing the task for which the game was made. Good for you! Play it on easy. Play it on hard. Mod it. Speedrun it. Make up an intricate roleplaying scenario. Perform “challenge” runs. Kill everybody you see. Ignore the story and run around collecting wheels of cheese. Games are meant to be fun and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a game however you damn well please. This is especially true for RPGs like Fallout, which are designed with player freedom in mind.

There is an RPG playstyle I like to call King Shit of Fuck Mountain: a naked power fantasy in which your protagonist is the most powerful person ever, even beyond normal RPG plot significance. Through brute strength, incredible charisma, or having completed tons of quests for world-breaking artifacts and weapons, your character wields godlike influence, able to control people, factions, and the fabric of the world itself. A game enables KSoFM gameplay when it allows the player limitless freedom to gain as much power as they like with zero consequences to plot or storytelling.

A great example of this is the Dragonborn in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. If the player chooses to pursue every questline in the game, one single person can become Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Nightingale and Guildmaster of the Thieves’ Guild, hero of the Imperial/Stormcloak army, the chosen one of like, 11 different Daedric princes, a bard, a Blade, and otherwise just, absurdly goddamn powerful in completely unrealistic ways. And that’s not counting DLCs. A fully-kitted-out Dragonborn is King Shit of Fuck Mountain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing KSoFM if you like to. But I’m not a big fan of this style, personally. Sure, my first Skyrim character became KSoFM while I was figuring out the game, but after my first playthrough I preferred my characters become coherent figures in the story of the world. I pick one or two character traits and things that my Dragonborn is good at, focus on them, and make them part of some overall story. My honorable Imperial paladin werewolf is in the Companions, and hunts vampires on principle. My Argonian sneaky archer is a gleeful thief, but would never jive with the College or the Dark Brotherhood. I like creating protagonists who fit into these settings immersively. I don’t care about power fantasies or being in charge. I don’t WANT my character to be all-powerful, because that ruins my immersion and my little story.

Additionally, in a plot-driven story-focused game like Fallout, KSoFM tears the narrative apart. Skyrim is fairly light on story, so the Dragonborn can be the leader of the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood and whatever other factions without any of them noticing or caring. But FO4’s themes, faction drama, and the main thrust of the plot don’t work at all if the Sole Survivor is able to become too powerful or too influential. The Sole Survivor cannot become the leader of every faction, solve every problem, or eliminate every inconvenient bend of the conflict because it makes the lore of the entire setting implode. Thus, the game forces you to choose between factions. You cannot be with the Minutemen and the Nuka-World Raiders. You cannot be with the Railroad and the Institute. And you cannot become Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel.

So if you’re the kind of person who loves playing KSoFM, if you like plots that your character can “solve” with relative ease, or if you just think it would be super cool for your Sole to become Elder regardless of surrounding storytelling, then you might think the Elder ending sounds super cool. You are absolutely allowed to disagree with me here. Install all the mods and write all the fic and have all the headcanons you like. I respect that. There is no wrong way to enjoy a single-player video game. Have fun!

But if you’re a big nitpicky pedantic lore nerd like me, a fan of cohesive storytelling, or if you just want to hear how the Elder ending of BB absolutely fucking ruins Maxson, Danse, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the entire plot of FO4 from a narrative perspective, read on!

1. The Synth Thing

The Elder ending requires the stupid plot contrivance of the BoS forgetting about Danse’s synthhood.

One of the biggest problems with the BoS as an institution is their strict and dogmatic beliefs, which include a widespread dislike of non-human species. Perhaps more than any other non-humans, the BoS hates synths. Synths are, in their eyes, machines given free will, a violation of the sanctity of human life and the ultimate example of technology run amok. To them, synths are not sympathetic, they are not slaves, and they are not victims of circumstance. They are weapons that left unchecked will destroy all of humanity for a second time. Synths are anathema to everything the BoS stands for, and finding out that one of their most beloved and trusted Paladins is one is an earth-shattering blow to their integrity and sense of security.

It is completely absurd that the BoS would allow a synth within their ranks, particularly as they are waging war against the Institute, who created synths in the first place. It is even MORE absurd that they’d allow one to influence their Elder, or even worse, to become Elder. It completely undermines their mission in the Commonwealth, and the core tenets of their extremely rigid beliefs. No matter the Elder, no matter the Litany or obscure BoS law, no matter how valuable the Sole Survivor is as a soldier or how much influence they wield. Danse is a synth. He’s the enemy. He is physically the embodiment of everything they hate.

Not only wouldn’t they trust a synth in general, but the BoS specifically believes that Danse is an infiltrator for the Institute. Even Danse believes that he is a danger, that the Institute may be able to take control of him and use him as a weapon. Sure, we know none of this is actually true, or possible, but the BoS don’t know that. And given how quick they are to order Danse dead without even the possibility of surrender, I don’t think there’s any charisma in the world that’s going to convince them otherwise.

According to Peter Jessop, this, ultimately, is the reason why the Elder ending was cut. He talks about it around the 11:30 timestamp in his Instagram stream, linked above:

“We recorded an ending where you keep Danse alive and you take over the Brotherhood. But there was a question of content… there’s no way the Brotherhood, once they knew he was a synth, would let him be even the right hand of the person in charge.”

Bethesda correctly recognized the incredible narrative contrivance for the BoS to shrug off the reason they’re trying to execute Danse in the first place. Whatever other beefs I have with this ending conceptually, they all come in second to just what a big dumb leap it is to get beyond this first and most important problem.

2. The Complete Death of Conflict

The Elder ending of BB destroys the conflict of the quest, and potentially the conflict of the entire game.

Greed is a poison. There is no such thing as a perfect ideal or a perfect organization. Power corrupts. Humanity has the choice to build back better. War never changes. The Fallout games are full of themes, depicted by the characters and quests and factions we play out.

Blind Betrayal is rightfully praised as one of the most powerful quests in FO4. Not only is it well-acted, but it puts the player in a very difficult position. The BoS has given you clout and glory and free power armor and lots of firepower, but now you see the price: unquestioning obedience. You are ordered to execute your friend and mentor Danse for the mere fact he is a synth. Are you going to follow that unjust order? Are you willing to give up your principles on command? Or is this where you can no longer stay quiet and stay in line?

To be honest, I’ve always thought the fact you can talk Maxson out of killing Danse but still remain with the BoS in good standing was a cop-out. BB goes 90% of the way to forcing you to choose between a companion and a faction, and then chickens out at the last second to let you have both, if your charisma is high enough.

(I believe this has the fingerprints of Skyrim’s development on it-- Bethesda’s writers got nervous about doing another Paarthurnax choice involving the fan favorite Brotherhood of Steel. That’s right. Danse is the Paarthurnax of Fallout. Frankly, I understand why they chose not to go there, but damn, wouldn’t it have been wild? You want to run with the BoS? Then kill your friend and feel the burn. THIS is what it means to follow orders without question.

As for me, I’d pick Danse every time and sleep soundly without the company of shitty bootlicking dieselpunk LARPers- but I digress.)

Anyway, you know what would have REALLY been a copout? If the game asked you to make a difficult thematic storyline choice, and you solved the problem by just not choosing at all.

You are supposed to feel uncomfortable when Maxson orders you to kill Danse, because the game is telling a story about how it is maybe a bad thing to thoughtlessly follow orders without question. It is asking you to think about what the BoS is, what they are doing, and how they are going to run things, if you choose to let them “win” the Commonwealth. It is pointing out that there is no room for gray in the BoS’ black and white. That a good, loyal man may die because of the way he was made, through no action of his own. That soon, you’ll be killing other people on command. The Railroad. Fleeing Institute synths and scientists. Others, down the line. It all depends on who’s giving the orders. Are you going to follow those orders?

Eesh, that sounds thought-provoking and unpleasant and difficult! Let’s just skip it by killing Maxson and making ourselves the boss. Now we get to tell everybody else what to do!

It’s unknown what powers the Elder ending would have granted the player, or how it would have interacted with the other factions. There is speculation that you’d have been able to ease back on the BoS’ dogmatism, or change some of the later events of the game. For instance, perhaps you could talk the BoS down from attacking the Railroad, sparing popular characters like Glory and Deacon who must die in the normal BoS storyline. Perhaps you could have made the BoS a kinder, gentler faction and directed them to run the way you want them to.

If this was indeed the case, then the Elder ending would not only suck the gravitas out of BB, but torpedo the entire main plot.

If you can get rid of any and all downsides to siding with the BoS, why in the hell would players side with anybody else? With the player given total power, the BoS becomes a perfect faction with no drawbacks, no weaknesses, no tough decisions to be made. Screw slumming it with the Railroad or the Minutemen, let’s take over the BoS. Free power armor and a giant robot! Forget the whole intolerance thing, I hereby proclaim the BoS No Longer Problematic! Now to force all the factions to get along, completely removing all conflict and nuance from the plot!

That’s some real anticlimactic “tell Legate Lanius to go home and then he does it” bullshit right there. King Shit of Fuck Mountain!

Look, it might be nice if there was a perfect path like that to take through the game. It would be cool if our characters could be that powerful and the game was that tailored to our individual choices. On the other hand, “I change all the factions to suit my exact liking” might be a fun idea for a fanfic, but it’s an incredibly boring plot for a video game. “I get to make everything in the world exactly how I want it” is Minecraft, not a story-driven RPG with a complex and intricate plot.

It would be great if complex conflicts could really be solved that easily and effortlessly, but hey, you know what? War never changes.

3. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Literal)

Arthur Maxson’s death is too significant and fundamentally disastrous for the Elder ending to make any sense at all.

Hero, villain, leader, monster, tortured soul, brutal dictator, immature twerp, bearded sex hunk. However you personally interpret Arthur Maxson, there is no denying that he is a venerated, popular, beloved figure in the BoS. He is the blood heir of the organization’s founder, a powerful warrior, a brilliant tactician, and a charismatic negotiator. He is responsible for reuniting the East Coast BoS with the Outcasts, leading the new, stronger BoS with a sense of shared purpose. There is a damn good reason his name is Arthur and he named his ship The Prydwen, echoes of King Arthur and the legends of his glorious kingdom of Camelot. Arthur Maxson is so beloved that many view him as a demigod, a messiah sent to lead the BoS into a mighty and prosperous future.

So I’m sure nobody’s going to be upset when some wasteland jackass recruited a month ago stumbles in with a synth, kills him, and takes over his job. Right?

It doesn’t matter that it’s “honorable.” It doesn’t matter that it’s done “by the book” via obscure BoS rules. There is no codex or litany or rule so binding that it’s going to overcome the cult of personality around Maxson. There is no way that the BoS is going to accept the death of Arthur Maxson, a man whose reverence borders on worship, especially not when he is immediately replaced by a wastelander, or a synth.

The death of Arthur Maxson removes the unifying glue that’s been holding the BoS together since mending the rift with the Outcasts. Maxson’s death eliminates the one person that both sides of that conflict agreed could steer the organization in the right direction. Some level heads may try to keep the focus on the mission and the Brotherhood tenets, but Maxson loyalists will never forgive the new Elder for his death, and that amount of passionate righteous anger will not be quelled by appeals to the rules. The new Elder’s war on the Institute is basically over before it begins, when the forces splinter and start infighting over the change in leadership.

And this is if the new Elder lives long enough to actually give any orders. I give them around 24 hours after the duel before some angry Maxson loyalist “accidentally” pulls the trigger and “tragically” empties a clip into their back.

24 seconds, if it’s Elder Danse, the dirty synth abomination.

4. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Figurative)

The Elder ending of BB falsely pretends that Arthur Maxson is the biggest and only problem with the BoS.

In the Elder ending, as written, the conflict of BB is considered completely and totally solved by the death of Arthur Maxson. The core problem, that Danse is a synth and considered an enemy by the BoS, has not gone away. But by getting rid of Maxson, this apparently no longer matters. Nobody else is going to take offense to Danse’s nature or protest his presence. Nobody else is going to attack him or try to follow through with Maxson’s prior orders. Nope, that meanybutt guy who gave the order is gone, and everybody else is going to welcome Danse back into the fold like nothing ever happened.

I touched on this a little bit on an ask about Maxson a few weeks back, but a lot of people seem to believe that the FO4 Brotherhood of Steel is the way they are purely because of him. That he is the one making them treat non-humans as second class citizens at best, and enemies to be slaughtered at worst. That it’s his fault the BoS is so vehemently against synths and the Institute. That he is the one influencing their imperialistic tendencies, and treating the Commonwealth like territory to be conquered and people to be ruled over by their betters.

He’s not. That’s the Brotherhood of Steel, guys.

The charitable, altruistic, virtuous BoS that many of us met for the first time in FO3 were outliers. Lyons’ group was literally disowned by the rest of the faction because their kindness to wastelanders had gone so far astray from the “core” tenets. The BoS as a whole has always been exclusive, isolated, and seen themselves as “superior” to the average wastelander. They have long disliked or outright hated non-humans (and even Lyons’ BoS in FO3 use ghouls, feral or not, for “target practice” if they get too close!) The rigid dogmatism of the BoS is not something that Arthur Maxson started, but has always been part of their fabric.

Now, it’s true that Maxson is absolutely going hard on the BoS tenets, and extremely dedicated to upholding them. His BoS are the way they are and act the way they act because he believes that this is the way it should be. Is it possible that a different leader may be a little more flexible? Absolutely. Could a skilled Elder eventually show them the benefits of a softer approach and a more generous worldview? Totally. Is getting rid of Maxson and replacing him going to make that happen overnight, or going to make the rest of the BoS who supported him shrug and follow suit?

Nope.

Blaming Arthur Maxson for everything unsavory about the Brotherhood is unfair to him and also foolishly ignoring the deep, massive problems that are far older than he is-- problems that plenty of its members wholeheartedly believe are not problems at all. Getting rid of Maxson does not make the BoS kinder or gentler. Even pretending Maxson isn’t as personally beloved as he is, any new Elder who steps in and starts trying to fundamentally alter the way the BoS operates and what they believe in is going to face some major, immediate pushback.

Like, a full clip of bullets in the back type of pushback.

In the face if it’s Elder Danse, the godless freak of nature.

5. The Un-Redemption of Paladin Danse

Last, and my personal least favorite!

At first glance, Paladin Danse is a steely jackboot, a die-hard Brotherhood loyalist who fully and firmly believes in their cause. Many immediately dismiss him as a humorless brute, or completely ignore him because they think that’s all there is. But if you spend any time with Danse at all, you’ll notice a sort of weariness in him. He is tired, overworked, and his years of service are starting to weigh on him. He has watched friends, comrades, and mentors die in horrible and gruesome ways, and he suffers from PTSD. Though he has always been told that his own sacrifices, the sacrifices of his brothers and sisters have been” worth it,” he’s starting to question if that’s true.

After telling of the incident where he personally executed his best friend Cutler, who’d been turned into a super mutant, the Sole Survivor is able to console him:

Player Default: You did the right thing. Danse: {Somber} It's what I was taught. I don't know if it was right.

This line is an excellent summary of Danse’s entire character arc. He learns to question whether to believe what the Brotherhood has taught him, or to believe in himself. His gut feelings. His sense of justice and his own ideas of what’s right and wrong.

(In the interest of not turning this into an essay about Danse’s character, I won’t even get into how this also applies to his beliefs about his worth as a person. But keep in mind, that dimension is there, Danse just covers it up by making everything about the Brotherhood.)

During Blind Betrayal, after getting the orders to execute him and hearing Haylen’s plea for mercy, we may expect Danse to be ready to fight back or flee. But when you confront him in the bunker at Listening Post Bravo, he’s compliant and suicidal. Danse is so deeply poisoned by the BoS’ rhetoric that his own feelings or will to live don’t factor into the conversation. He demands that you follow your orders and execute him, because he believes, as the BoS does, that all synths are dangerous and must be destroyed.

Danse: {Stern} Synths can't be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions, they need to be controlled. Technology that's run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction.

{Confident} I need to be the example, not the exception.

Through various dialogue options, if your charisma is high enough, you are able to talk Danse off the ledge. He is able to consider, at least, that the BoS’ merciless judgment of him is wrong and that what he was taught isn’t right. He is a thinking, feeling, self-aware synth, and that makes him as much a person as any human. Danse is no danger to humanity-- and maybe, most synths aren’t either.

Danse is an example, not an exception.

Later on, if you manage to get him out of BB alive, Danse shows further acceptance of his nature. His approvals about synths begin to soften slightly (or many of them do, at least… it’s not perfect.) He is still struggling with his identity and reconciling it with his former hatred, but his dialogue suggests that he’s on the road to being more open-minded and understanding. Along with this, Danse learns that he has value as a person beyond the Brotherhood. He no longer needs to define himself with BoS beliefs or judge himself by how useful he is to them. He learns that he is worth caring about, worth being friends with or being loved because of who he is-- not what he is, in any regard.

[SIDENOTE: Many players, myself included, are frustrated that Danse’s arc leaves off sort of midstream there. Due to the open-ended nature of the game, we don’t get a real conclusion to his arc-- even though much of his idle dialogue doesn’t change and he still espouses pro-BoS sentiments ( an unfortunate by-product of writing for a video game) there is every indication that he’s started down the right path, but understandably has a ways to go.

Also, Peter Jessop agrees with us.]

Meanwhile, in the Elder ending, Danse doesn’t get a redemption. His entire character arc, actually, hits the skids and does a total 180.

He never leaves the BoS. So scratch the need for Danse to ever think about himself as separate from them. He never needs to question what they’ve taught him or whether they’re right or wrong. He never needs to find any worth in himself beyond his use to the BoS. Why would he? He might be the Elder. The BoS is all he needs to care about anymore. The BoS is all he ever needs to be, ever again.

And I think, most horrifying of all, this Danse never needs to change his mind about synths. On the contrary, one of the surviving dialogue files includes Danse’s speech to reassure the rest of the BoS of his stance:

Danse: I want to make one thing clear to everyone. This body might be synth, but my heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood. The Institute is still a tremendous threat to the Commonwealth. They possess technologies that need to be confiscated or destroyed. And even if that means I have to pull the trigger on my own kind, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.

Elder ending Danse doesn’t grow more understanding on the nature of synths. He doesn’t accept that synths are people, or anything more than technology run amok. He won’t even accept that for himself. Elder Maxson wasn’t wrong about synths-- they’re the enemy and they need to be destroyed.

But, see, he was wrong about Danse. It’s okay for Danse to exist in spite of his nature. It’s okay for him to never fully accept his own personhood, and to outright deny it to his kind. Because his body is a machine, but he’s different from the rest because his heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood.

He’s the exception, not the example.

CONCLUSION:

The Elder ending of Blind Betrayal is dumb, contrived, stakeless, character-derailing powergaming crap at its finest and I’ll happily dance on its grave.

People give Bethesda a lot a shit for their writing-- whether it be stuff they left out, stuff they left in, or stuff that they never, ever could have made work due to the limitations of writing for a video game. Plenty of it is well-deserved, or at least worth a discussion. But from the minute I found out about its existence, I have always wanted to extend a congratulations to Bethesda for cutting the alternate Elder ending of Blind Betrayal. It was a good choice. A very good choice to cut a very dumb plot that would have fundamentally altered the story they were telling, and characters that I’ve grown to love. I think the writers deserve some credit and a hearty handshake for the wisdom of this decision.

Now as for why Nick Valentine isn’t romanceable--

[theseerasures]

YOu have a lot of interesting thoughts abt Winter what dyou think will happen with her this season?? Iknow you already said she won't die but. other stuff?? What do you think of the idea that she defects to salem

y’know, anon: i was actually gonna write something to this tune unprompted before the hiatus ended? i didn’t, because when it’s inevitably revealed that i was wrong about Everything and the village children throw their eggs and laugh i didn’t want to give them any more receipts, but now that someone has asked i might as well

quick disclaimer before i start! these are subjective speculations about a character who has thus far been--particularly in 8.1--sparsely and ambivalently characterized, on purpose. i am spinning from the same subtext as anyone else, and if i am reading it differently, then all that means that i am reading it differently. Mr. Teeth is not sending me secret data. i am not the Steve Kornacki of RWBY Defections, as hilarious as it is to imagine someone like that existing.

okay? okay. below are some ideas and theories about where Winter could be going this season

The Defection (no not that one yet)

yeah, i’m still an “AceOps defect as a team” truther. this one actually has the least to do with Winter, and most to do with story economy. and the story of the AceOps is this: under Clover they were “the perfect team”--efficient, powerful, professional, and the perfect emblem of Atlesian values. law and order above all else. the mission matters more than the team. don’t get attached.

Clover’s absence from the team begins in late season 7, which means all that shiny varnish is stripped from Atlas at the same time it’s stripped from the AceOps. it turns out that the law isn’t always right, it turns out it’s super easy to turn “the needs of the many” into “the needs of the few who have many,” and it turns out once you go even a single inch past their facade the “best Huntsmen in Atlas” are conflicted, directionless, and squabble like children. they have a better showing against Penny this season, but their continued dynamic shows that fault lines--particularly between Marrow and Harriet--are reaching crisis. The AceOps model is unsustainable, in the same way that all of Atlas is ultimately unsustainable.

then Ironwood puts Winter in charge, and at first i did think: well, this is probably just to accelerate the inevitable fallout. they are, by their own testimony, emotional strangers to each other, and now some of them disagree on ideological grounds to the point where they can barely stand to be in the same room; slapping an abrasive volatile live wire on top of all that is pouring gasoline on Rome while Rome burns.

but the revelation of Renvision was that they’ve been lying--about HAVING feelings, but also about their feelings with and about each other. moreover: Winter’s own emotions mirror theirs. they’re speaking, in whatever horrifically repressed way, a similar language.

i’m not going to discount the possibility that this kind of ice-water-in-the-face moment might not be enough for some of them; one thing i’ve always respected about RWBY is its unwillingness to flinch away from the idea that sometimes it IS too late for people. but when it comes down to the AceOps, i think the operating question isn’t “will they pick JOYR over setting off the bomb,” because they’re not ready to make that kind of decision together as a team yet. no, the operating question is: if it comes down to one of them, or setting off the bomb, what will they choose?

Clover would set off the bomb, without hesitation or remorse. the mission and protocol HAVE to come first, and in this case there’s a compelling argument that it’s the right call. the team under Clover would have followed suit. the team without Clover would have likely done the same.

the team under Winter...

well, the thing about Winter is that she’s NOT Clover. not a perfect soldier, but--let’s stick with “not a perfect soldier.” she cannot lead in the same way Clover did, with that infuriating mixture of self-assurance and personal charisma, but i don’t think she thinks of herself as any less in command, which means that for the time being, the AceOps are her team. i can’t be certain what Winter would choose in this situation--whether her personal feelings can win out against years of consequentialist thinking--but i do feel fairly confident in saying that she’d be more willing to sacrifice HERSELF in order to choose both.

and in this crucial moment where the AceOps are forced to re-evaluate how they feel about each other, and the team, that might count for something.

so tl;dr #1: the AceOps find a team identity separate from the Atlesian structure. whether they defect to the RIGHT people, or survive defection, and whether Winter counts narratively as one of the AceOps by that point, i’m less sure about, but a cursory stab in the dark would be: yes, not all of them, and no.

The Return

how much do the writers care about the Winter-Ironwood dynamic? probably less than i do, but i also care more than any human should be permitted to under the law, especially since people have moved onto speculating about all the hot NEW abusers she could have in her life. whatever--it is something that needs closure, and i think the writers know that. my preference is still that they confront each other in person, at Atlas Academy (Qrow having fucked off via either healthy decision making or force). if this does happen, i don’t think there’s any chance that both of them will make it out alive; Winter would ONLY confront Ironwood if she’s forced to--either by him or other forces--and both of them are too rigid with themselves and with each other to offer any kind of give, or forgiveness.

that’s what i’d prefer, but it no longer seems the most likely option; Winter clearly has no plans to make it back, and the queue for “people who want to slug it out with DILF Jimmy” just keeps getting longer. it’s possible that they’ll end on the same personal-impersonal teeter-totter which they’ve always resided, where they’re just voices in each other’s earpieces, and she’s giving him a report, and he is issuing her orders.

there’s a way to make that meaningful, though: Winter HAS just disobeyed an explicit order--the first she’s done when she fully had the capacity to carry it out. her own treasons are piling up, and it’s a secret that he should know, for plot and character reasons. the obvious choice among the AceOps to tattle is Harriet, but i also think there’s a nonzero chance that, if asked, Winter herself will tell him. for all her flaws, i do think Winter is capable of owning up to her decisions (it’d make a nice parallel with Yang telling Ironwood about what she and Blake did during Gravity, but that’s neither here nor there), but even more importantly...i think she’d tell him because she wants to be reassured. that she did the right thing, but also that they’re still on the same page, and that he’s still the same person he always was, with her.

he won’t reassure her, of course. especially after he finds out that she disobeyed him for Ozpin. she’ll have no one left.

tl;dr #2: Winter and Ironwood have to reach some kind of End by the finale. whether it’s with a bang or a whimper i’m again less certain of, but if it DOES end with a bang one of them will die, and it’s going to be Ironwood.

Winter Alone

i, like many others, assumed going into the season that Winter’s core dilemma would be something like “her family or her family,” meaning: her sisters or her (adoptive) father. but i think as far as the show’s concerned that conflict was resolved when she let them go in The Enemy of Trust, and it’s not worth re-litigating. since the season started she’s just missed Weiss and/or Penny TWICE by narrative contrivance--during the Amity heist, and the abortive recovery mission--and she’s been sent away from Ironwood. it’s increasingly looking to me like Winter and Weiss will not talk to each other at ALL this season (do they have Scroll reception in the whale? i guess they must if Watts talked to Tyrian), or at most will only catch a tantalizing glimpse of each other before being whisked away again. all of this points to the issue not being “whose side will Winter choose,” but “what kind of person IS Winter, when she doesn’t have anyone else’s ideology to fall back upon?”

which is very exciting to me! the What You Are in the Dark trope is an obvious staple, but i’m especially a sucker for it when it happens to characters like Winter, who lucked out in the sense that their more selfish motivations (protecting herself from Dad) have never quite conflicted with doing Good (protecting other people). the cognitive dissonance for that with Winter has already been played up to the max, so for it to come to a crisis for her, at a point when EVERYONE WHOSE OPINION SHE CARES ABOUT HAS ALREADY FUCKED OFF, is just great drama. it’s made all the better by the fact that RWBY specifically has a lot of villains whose backstories involve them being put in a similar situation, and choosing wrong: Adam chose spite. Raven chose cowardice. getting to see someone make that choice in the story proper, then, adds to and complicates what RWBY has to say the conditions of possibility for heroism and villainy.

furthermore, and this might be where my biases become delusions: that Winter is being maneuvered to make these decisions for herself, BY herself, points to the possibility that she might be graduating from a mostly region-locked character (Ilia, the Belladonnas, Beacon staff and students) to full-on supporting cast (TRQ, Maria, the villains). if Weiss and/or Penny reach out to Winter in a climactic confrontation this season, then the story isn’t NOT about Winter, but it would place more emphasis on Weiss and/or Penny, as main cast members, and their ability to save a person they love. but if their relationships are given more space and time for breathe (or fester!)--if Winter gets to change away from Weiss in the way that Weiss changed and grew away from Winter in Mistral, for example--then it points to a greater parity in terms of their mutual importance in the story.

tl;dr #3: Schneester Bowl might have to wait at least another season, because Winter’s too busy trying out independent thinking. now, whether Winter will make the RIGHT choice, or the story will LET her make that call after she’s decided...

2Defect2Salem

i actually touched on this before, so tl;dr #4.1: i do not find the ways that people talk about HOW Salem gets Winter to defect to be very convincing. the idea that Salem could easily manipulate Winter because they have similar backstories makes me...tilt my head, but i think that’s more due to my personal belief that people who are similar in those ways actually tend to be each other’s blind spots (i also think this about Blake and Winter, FWIW). more to the point: my personal reading of Winter locates a streak buried deep within that is unyieldingly CATEGORICAL. despite being embedded within Atlesian rationality, despite her mentor being James Ironwood, there is something in Winter that instinctively judges an immediate instance to be right or wrong, and she’s never been able to suppress that all the way.

and with that in mind, i genuinely don’t think Winter is enough of a long-term, big picture thinker to give herself over to despair for Atlas as a whole. oh, we see her parrot “for the good of all, not just a few” just fine, but if she was already having trouble internalizing that when it was coming from IRONWOOD, a man she loves and trusts, then why would Salem--a person she is predisposed to distrust--be better at convincing her that the ends justify the means? why would she believe that submission is preferable to extinction from someone that EVERYONE SHE KNOWS considers an enemy? it’s hard for me to conceive of a Winter who, perched at the lip of the despair event horizon, will a) think enough of herself to make a decision for everyone and b) accept that the decision is imperfect and compromise, when she could just do what soldiers do, what she’s been asked to do, and die for an impossible cause.

(also not to belabor the point, but: ...how is she supposed to deliver Atlas to Salem? are we assuming that the Atlas Military works via Klingon Promotion, or that Ironwood gave her all his passwords?)

this is not to say that i think Winter will completely no-sell Salem (though that would be VERY funny). assuming that she and Salem do end up in the same room (which is still up in the air), i can easily picture a scenario where Salem manipulates Winter into making a bad decision (though honestly, Winter’s been doing just fine with that all on her own), but the distance between “a bad decision” and “a decision that she knows will help the Big Bad” is still quite far. i can similarly picture a scenario where Salem gradually sways Winter--not a single Anakin-style dramatic reversal, but an Atris-style descent-by-inches, through a million little non-choices--but that’s the thing: manipulation takes TIME, no matter how good at it you are, and we’re running up against the fact that the season ends in 6 episodes, and Winter is only one of about a trillion dangling threads.

tl;dr #4.2: the only way i can see Winter defecting to Salem THIS SEASON, then, is if it’s not her choice at all. for me, this makes the most thematic sense--that she’s been playing keep-away so long with her own agency, and Salem ends up resolving the issue by taking it away from her completely. that she wants so much to be sure she’s making the right choice, or to not have to make the call, and Salem gives her exactly what she wants. she’ll never have to think for herself again. we know Salem is capable of something like that, because we’ve just seen the Hound. Winter won’t be another Hound, if only because churning out the same horror will only yield diminishing returns, but she might be...something else.

regardless, tl;dr #4.3: if “Winter defecting to Salem” shakes down in any way--either as originally posited or as i just described--it would be an FANTASTIC story and character engine. i’ve already talked about the potential conflict this could create within Team RWBY, but like...imagine Weiss talking to ANYONE about her sister. imagine Weiss talking to Emerald, who would have just joined the heroes, whose decision to cut herself off from Cinder would feel like a portent. imagine Winter with the villains! not just Salem, but Cinder! imagine the subtextual parallels between the two becoming TEXT. imagine the two of them having to work together! imagine how Cinder would feel to lose Emerald and get Winter. imagine how Mercury would feel! can you imagine Winter and Mercury bonding over their daddy issues?? because i can’t! but i wanna. my love for Winter isn’t contingent on her making the right choices, but on her getting the right material. this would not only be the right material, but A LOT OF IT, and if the writers do choose to go in this direction, i trust them enough to be excited about where it might go.

[blancheludis]

@whumptober2021 Day 5: Misunderstandings

Fandom: DCU, Batman, Superman Characters: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne Tags: Misunderstandings, Unhealthy Relationship, Miscommunication, Open Ending Words: 4.404

Summary: “I bought the bank,” Bruce says, his face unreadable as ever, but he looks like he is waiting for something.

Clark stands with his parents’ farm in his back, the farm that now belongs to Bruce, and he understands, loud and clear. I bought you.

So, with his mother’s home and well-being on the line, he has little choice but to follow when Bruce beckons.

---

“I bought the bank,” Bruce says, his hands hidden in his trouser pockets, completely casual.

His face is unreadable as ever but Clark knows that face by now, knows that Bruce never does anything without reason.

So, what Clark hears, loud and unmistakeably, is, I bought you.

He swallows, his mouth dry, searching for the right thing to say but coming up empty. The distance between them stretches, growing larger with every passing, silent second.

Then Bruce frowns, causing ice to spread inside Clark’s chest. Bruce bought him. That means he is not just holding Clark’s life in his hands but also that of his mother. He understands that the farm is safe for now, the house will remain standing – now the ball is in Clark’s corner to keep it that way.

“Thank you,” Clark says, far too late, but he somehow manages to sound calm, not as brittle as he feels, blindsided by this sudden change of his fate.

The frown vanishes from Bruce’s face but that only makes the icy grip around Clark’s insides tighten. He had not thought Bruce capable of this, trying to control him and demanding him to be happy about it, too.

“You didn’t have to,” Clark adds cautiously. Bruce could have just asked if he wanted Clark, did not have to go to the trouble of holding his home and family hostage.

“Nonsense,” Bruce says, dismissing in a way that seems to come so easily to him. It has Clark gritting his teeth, even while he keeps his face friendly – a very thin façade.

Here they are, regularly saving the world together, but they are apparently still not equals. Clark pointedly does not look at the house behind him, at the fading colours and the cracks in the porch, at the corner where the roof threatens to give in during the next storm. He did not grow up with money to spare but they were never poor, not in any way that matters. There was always warmth to be found in their house, always love.

Rather uncharitably, Clark thinks that is where they differ. Not because Clark is an alien with super strength and super speed, while Bruce is human. No, Clark is rich in terms of love. He knows where he comes from and where he belongs. Bruce, on the other hand, is lost, building relentlessly to hide the fact that there is no ground to build on.

“I’d invite you in,” Clark says, although he really, really would not. Whatever game Bruce is playing, he will not do it in front of his mother. “But I should tell my mom first.”

Bruce straightens even while his brow creases again just a bit, enough to make Clark wonder what the price for disappointing Bruce will be. Whether they will lose the house immediately or if he will dismantle Clark’s life in a different way first.

“I’ll come to the Manor once I’m done,” Clark offers quickly and takes a step towards Bruce, hoping he is not placating him too obviously. Bruce likes subtlety, after all.

They have known each other for a while now, fought next to each other, and yet he has no idea how to please Bruce, what is expected of him here.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Bruce says, still as unreadable, but he looks slightly less tense.

Clark smiles. It is a real thing if borne of relief instead of happiness. He is glad to take this to the Manor. It is already such an empty place, grief permeating its shadows. Clark will not feel bad about adding his own to it.

“Give my best to your mother,” Bruce says as he is already turning away, off-handed like there is nothing to it, just a social nicety.

Clark’s smile freezes. He stares at Bruce’s back. Later, he will think that he should not have been surprised. Batman is built to be a threat, his every move and word meant to subdue and intimidate. But Bruce is subtler than that, underhanded. Hiding his threats beneath well-wishes that, under any other circumstances would have been innocuous, is right up Bruce’s alley, although it hits Clark like a sucker punch.

He hears the warning loud and clear. I bought you and I expect you to fall in line. Or else.

Clark loves his home but he loves his mother more. “I will,” he says and means it. There is no other choice anyway.

---

Clark thinks briefly about contacting Diana. Perhaps she would have some insight into what Bruce expects. Although, if he is honest with himself, Clark knows. He noticed Bruce’s stares, slowly morphing from distrust to respect to something he thought was welcoming but might have been simple want instead.

He could have asked. Ignoring their bumpy beginnings, Clark liked working with Bruce. They could have built something. But perhaps that is not what Bruce is interested in. He likes control, that much is clear, and maybe he sensed that Clark does not want to be on the receiving end of that. That could be the game and Bruce will tire of it quickly. Somehow, Clark knows that will not be the case.

He is stalling. After talking to his mother, he went to his old room, her relief leaving a bittersweet aftertaste. There is so much to do, but he guesses Bruce’s patience will run out if Clark starts retiling the roof instead of doing as he is told.

No, he decides, he cannot tell Diana. She does not do subtle and Clark cannot afford force. He will give himself half an hour and then he will do what must be done. That is what heroes do, after all, even if he has never felt less like one.

Later, Alfred opens the door for him, smiling with a warmth that Clark does not understand. “Mr. Kent, what a pleasure to see you here.”

Clark nods in greeting, tries to pull up his lips and fails miserably. “I guess Bruce is waiting for me?”

He is and he is not, looking surprised when Clark enters his office. “I didn’t expect you so soon.” Clark was not exactly given a schedule, but he prefers to be early rather than late. “Come, we need to go over some things.”

Privately, Clark expects rules on how this new life of his will run. Instead, it is business as usual, talking about the League. He barely hears a word Bruce is saying but makes sure to nod in the appropriate places.

He stays for dinner – Bruce does not say he can leave – and while he knows that Alfred is an excellent cook, everything tastes like ash.

 ---

The first time they kiss, Bruce holds him like he is afraid Clark will disintegrate in his arms. Only when Clark pushes forward, acting eager to drown out the churning of his stomach, does the tension bleed out of Bruce’s muscles. If things were different, Clark could even enjoy this. He had thought about it, even, about Bruce. But either Bruce never looked at him the same way or he just likes to make sure his lovers cannot leave on their own terms.

All the following times, Bruce kisses like a drowning man, desperate for the air in Clark’s lungs even knowing that it is poisoned. 

None of it makes sense. Clark is here to stay until he is dismissed. He will not refuse any of Bruce’s whims. And yet it feels as if it is Bruce who is waiting for the second shoe to drop, as if Clark will one day decide his mother’s home and well-being are not important for him anymore and leave.

It does not give Clark a sense of power. Instead, he just wonders when their time is finally running out, afraid of what the fallout will be.

 ---

“Where were you all our lives?” Jason asks one night when they are waiting for Bruce so they can eat dinner. “B is like a new person since you decided to give his sorry ass a chance.”

Clark did no such thing, but that is better kept between him and Bruce, so he shrugs. “Waiting for the right opportunity, I guess.” Bruce certainly did, and Clark did not have much choice but to follow.

He does not have much contact with Bruce’s family, but they treat him like he is one of them. Somehow, Clark thinks, this would be easier if they did not, if at least someone would acknowledge that he is nothing but a stranger, one of Bruce’s few indulgences, just one wrong step away from being dropped and put outside with the trash.

“Well, I wouldn’t have minded having you around when I was still living here.” Jason’s grin looks real, not even a hint of sharpness beneath it, although nobody in this family could ever be described as soft. “Much fewer shouting matches.”

You should have bought your father a whore much sooner, Clark thinks but immediately scolds himself for it. Neither the children nor Alfred seem to know the reason for this arrangement. And Bruce treats him kindly, almost as if this were real.

And Clark does not only come here to warm Bruce’s bed. If he did not know any better, he would even say that Bruce values his company.

“Although your taste is questionable,” Jason continues, apparently not bothered by Clark’s silence. “You could do much better.”

And that is the thing, because in the situation he is in, Clark cannot do anything but acquiesce. He is getting a better version of Bruce than he expected, making it not hard to play along. But this, right here, is the best Clark can do while his mother’s fate is lying in Bruce’s hands.

“He’s your father,” Clark chides quietly, because what else is there to do?

Also, if he ignores the way it happened, he has little to complain about. Bruce is polite and giving and constantly concerned with Clark’s well-being. He does not think it is a façade. Not beyond the obvious.  

But if it is not a façade and it is not real either, he has no idea what else it could be. Clark hates being lost. It makes him feel like he is in freefall and, for once, unable to fly. He is not naïve enough to think somebody would catch him either.  

 ---

Clark expects kinks and pain and being uncomfortable the entire time, but Bruce is a generous lover. He never asks Clark to stay and yet always seems to be so glad when he does, almost like Clark is doing him a favour instead of not making a fuss about his duties.

None of it makes sense. Less so with every passing day.

Even with a handful of adopted children, Bruce is still regularly crowned most eligible bachelor. People are throwing themselves at him left and right. Some of them must be in it for more than just Bruce’s looks or money. There must even be someone who already knows about Batman. Someone who does not have to be coerced.

With a bit more time, Clark thinks he could have been that. Sometimes, when he lies awake in Bruce’s arms, warm and safe and satisfied, he resents that he was not given that time.

 ---

“Why don’t you invite your friend over to dinner?” his mother asks.

The roof has finally been retiled and Clark is thinking about repainting the living room. The question rips him out of his musings like someone dunked his head in ice water.

“My friend?” he asks, although he knows exactly who she is talking about.

Bruce is many things. His colleague and co-conspirator and lover. But they have never been given the chance to become friends.

“The one who helped with the farm,” his mother says, frowning at him. She knows exactly that he is stalling, just not why. And Clark will do everything in his power to make sure she never finds out. “I know you felt like we should have managed on our own, but who knows where we’d be without him.”

Without the farm, probably, but that does not necessarily mean they would be worse off.

“Bruce,” Clark says flatly as if he only just remembered the name. As if all of his thoughts do not circle around Bruce all the time these days – as if he does not sometimes think that is not only a bad thing.

“Exactly.” She smiles, honest and grateful and all the things she would not be if he were honest with her. “You never bring him here.”

Clark is sure his world would implode if he did. “He’s busy,” he dismisses, trying for a casual tone and failing. At least his mother might think he is merely nervous about bringing a partner home to meet her. And he is, just for all the wrong reasons. He is terrified of her liking Bruce.  

“Well, you’re seeing each other all the time,” she keeps digging, knowing she always gets what she wants sooner or later. Not this time, though. “Surely it won’t be too hard to invite him sometime.”

“Mom –”

“Clark,” she says in the same tone she used when he smuggled frogs into the house as a boy. “I haven’t properly thanked him yet.”

What is there to thank Bruce for? Clark is paying their debt every day. It might not feel this way most of the time, but he is still acutely aware of the truth.

“I’ll tell him,” Clark lies. “But you shouldn’t get your hopes up. I can barely get him to sit down for dinner when he’s just a few doors down from his office.”

The very idea makes him sick, thinking about Bruce sitting at their dinner table, looking at their family pictures on the walls, sliding neatly into a spot where he does not belong. Bruce is a charmer, he would steal his mother’s affection within moments of coming into the door. And that cannot happen. Clark’s heart is not made to be broken in that way. His mother wants to see him happy, he knows, and it is too much to lie to her about that.

 ---

“Why didn’t you just ask?” Clark does not mean to say that out loud, but he has been thinking it often during quiet hours.

Because whatever this is, Bruce does not seem to want to rule him. He is content with them just being together and yet he lets that executioner’s axe hover over Clark’s neck.

“Ask what?” Bruce blinks at him, growing more awake. They are lying in bed together, worn out and sleepy and Clark has already decided not to go home tonight, which has too little to do with what Bruce is expecting of him and too much with how comfortable he is, here at Bruce’s side.

It would be easy to bow out, feed Bruce something inconsequential. But Clark is tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Why didn’t you just ask me to go out? Why did you have to buy me?” He has never said the word out loud and he stumbles over it.

Confusion burrows Bruce’s brow as he stares. He has gone very, very still. “Buy you?”

Clark clicks his tongue, remembering why they never talked about it. It is too cumbersome to hash out the details. “Me. The bank. Same difference.”

Understanding dawns on Bruce’s face, giving way to something far greater, far darker. Clark does not get a chance to interpret it properly because Bruce all but pushes him away, scrambling out of the bed and to his feet. He is naked but stands in a fighting position like it is second nature to him no matter what he wears.

“I didn’t buy you.” The offence in his tone is undermined by growing confusion. It sounds very believable.

“You went to quite some length to gain control over my life. I’d say that counts as buying.” Before him, Bruce’s expression grows brittle but Clark presses on. This has been weighing on his soul for way too long. “I didn’t expect you to threaten my mother, but I guess that’s all part of the game.” The words taste bitter on his tongue, still tinged with fear of the possible repercussions. “Only, you’re not even doing anything you couldn’t have gotten if you’d just asked.”

No underhanded humiliations. No kinks where superhuman regeneration abilities come in handy. No secret grievances to pay for. It almost felt real, a relationship like any other, if not for the way it started.

“You think I bought you.” Bruce sounds old, his voice is rougher than usual, almost pained. He is leaning away from Clark, even while his feet remain steady on the ground.

Clark frowns. “You did.” As much as he could be bought, chained not by strength but by concern for what he holds dear.

“And then -” Bruce clears his throat when his voice breaks. “You came into my bed because you thought I’d what?”

“Take the farm. Put my mother on the street.” Clark knows this and yet his voice lilts up, turning his words into a question.

Bruce closes his eyes, his face so raw and open as Clark has never seen it before. It looks like he is in pain, sudden and suffocating. A weight sits heavily in Clark’s stomach as he wonders, just maybe, if he got it all wrong.

“I bought the bank,” Bruce says, voice so low that Clark has to strain to hear him. “And then I forgave your mother’s loan the very moment I could. I have nothing in hand to harm you or your family.”

That is not true, a voice in Clark’s head says but even at that moment he knows it is uncharitable. Bruce would not – but –

“You’re not –”

He is cut off as Bruce starts laughing. It is a sharp-edged thing, clawing its way up from some terrible place, fed by self-loathing and doubt. “You thought I was blackmailing you into having a relationship with me? And you just agreed?”

Bruce does not mock him, the incredulity is clearly pointed at himself, drawing blood with a certainty that speaks of life-long practice. And yet, Clark feels offended. He might not be human, but he is not above emotions, above fear.

“What was I supposed to do?” Clark asks, watching as Bruce’s expression falls further, deep lines opening up where Bruce usually hides everything beneath a clear canvas.

“You’re Superman. You’re a reporter,” he says as if the latter somehow weighs more. “You know my identity, so even if you didn’t want to kill me you could have stopped me any time.” He puts out the idea of being killed as if there is nothing to it. “And you’d have been right to ruin my life because all I’ve apparently done is ruin yours.”

This is not how Clark imagined this conversation to go. He expected to be shut down immediately, to be pushed back into silence. But this? “You didn’t ruin –” he tries to say because, if anything, it seems they ruined each other.

“I raped you,” Bruce snaps, effectively cutting through Clark’s line of thoughts. “For months.”

For a long moment, all Clark can do is stare, the words sitting incomprehensible between them. His chest is hollow and yet something in there seems adamant to drag him down.

“No, Bruce. You didn’t,” he then says, his voice rough. “You never hurt me.” There was never any violence between them, no bruises, no humiliation. He never even had to hide a hickey. And yet, Bruce says the word rape with such certainty, such loathing, his judgement already made.

“You didn’t think you could say no. What else do you think that is but rape?” Bruce turns around abruptly, pressing one hand against his mouth. He looks small, like the tension in the air would be enough to smother him.

Clark knows he should say something, clear this up, but he does not know how. He is watching Bruce fall apart in front of him but all he can do is stare.

Then Bruce buries his face in his hands. “I can’t stop being Batman. I’ll do whatever else you want, but I can’t give up that. Gotham needs –” he cuts himself off, shrinks, impossibly, even further into himself. “If you insist, I’ll find someone to take over, but I’ll need some time.  I’ll – you won’t have to see me ever again.”

Something is happening here, way too fast for Clark to follow. Bruce bought him, only – he did not? Because being acquainted with a billionaire apparently means that banks get bought just to help each other out.

He was so sure, though. The expectation for something lingered in Bruce’s eyes that day, and he never protested when Clark gave himself over.

“Bruce.” Clark’s mind is spinning too much to make sense of what is happening, but he cannot watch this, cannot watch Bruce damage himself beyond repair. And for what – an apology? Batman has nothing to do with this. “You forgave the loan?”

That is the easiest thing to reach for. Because Bruce did not rape him, did not harm him at all. That first night, Clark might not have come to him voluntarily, but he came willingly. He knew what he was getting into – or he thought he knew – and he still went. And it never mattered that Clark thought he could not refuse because nothing bad ever happened. A few scheduling conflicts, a few fake smiles when he was not in a good mood. But – it was a misunderstanding? Bruce never set out to control him?

Bruce is still turned away, likely as unable to look at Clark as Clark is to look away. “Of course,” he says, raw and honest.

“It’s not –” Clark breathes, then clarifies, “You don’t have to do anything. I definitely don’t want you to stop being Batman. We – I just misunderstood. But nothing happened.”

Months of uncertainty happened. Months of waiting for the punchline. Months of trying to figure out Bruce’s game only to learn that there has never been one.

“Nothing happened?” Bruce whips his head around. His eyes are wide, filled with some grief that Clark cannot even begin to decipher. “If that’s what you think then I’ll definitely make sure you won’t have to see me again.”

For some reason, that last thing stings more than the realization that all of Clark’s fears have been for nothing.

“I’m not a child, Bruce. Don’t treat me like one,” he snaps, not stopping when Bruce flinches away from him. “I might have thought that I didn’t have a choice, but you never did anything I would have said no to.”

A small voice in the back of Clark’s head asks him whether that matters. He would not have said no, not for anything as long as he thought his mother’s happiness was on the line. He pushes that thought down, unable to fully comprehend it, much less deal with it right now.

“Apart from demanding your presence and presuming your consent? I trapped you in a relationship you didn’t want.” Bruce sneers at himself, then deflates. He looks old, suddenly, hollowed out. “God, you must hate me.”

Does he? Clark wonders, even while he already says, “I don’t, aren’t you listening?” It is a painful dichotomy, this sudden anger and the stubborn incomprehension warring in his mind. “If you had asked me before you bought the bank, I would have gladly gone out with you.”

“But I didn’t ask.”

Clark has no argument for that, and while he still searches for one anyway, a sudden wall builds itself up between them.

Bruce’s composure is shattered but he still visibly draws the pieces together. Neither of them has yet reached for any clothes but he still stands as if in full armour. “You have my deepest apologies, Clark,” he says, too formal, too withdrawn, even if Clark does not doubt his sincerity. He has seen the ruin lying beneath Bruce’s mask, after all. “I know that’s not enough, but I promise you will never have to deal with me again. But, whatever you need from me, now or in the future, you will have it.”

What Clark needs is - “Bruce, stop.”

But Bruce does not listen, of course not. His eyes travel over Clark’s face as if to memorize his features and then he turns around, never looking back as he storms out of the room. Out of Clark’s life.

“Bruce.” No answer.

Clark should follow him. Bruce still has to find clothes and he does not have any super speed to aid in his flight. It would be easy and this conversation is not done. And yet, Clark finds himself remaining right where he is. In Bruce’s bed, naked but for the blanket pooling around his waist.

A misunderstanding, he thinks. Relief blossoms in his stomach but it sits there heavily, not quite releasing him. He cannot let Bruce go, not forever, but his mind is not his own right now. His skin still burns where Bruce kissed him just an hour ago and his muscles ache deeply. Soon there will not be any visible traces of their time together left and – Clark needs that. He needs to be his own person for a while.

Slowly, he gets up and puts on his clothes. He will leave town and visit his mother for a while. The living room still needs to be repainted and he is desperate to do something that makes sense.

Later, once he feels at home in his own skin again, he will go to Bruce. He can imagine the maelstrom of thoughts Bruce must battle right now. Guilt and shame and self-deprecation. Knowing him, he will not get out of this on his own but just do his best to bury it, ignoring the way it eats away at the very foundation of his being. Clark cannot let that happen, not when they have both contributed to their misery. He knows Bruce is a good person, knows he never communicates clearly. And yet he assumed the worst and gave in to it.

The living room, first, Clark thinks as he steps out into the sun, feeling its warmth as he has not done in weeks, even if his legs are not quite steady. And then the rest of their lives.

[nightwingmyboi]

Sorry if you answered this already, but your meta about Talon!Dick made me think of this: which "origin" for Dick leaving the Robin mantle do you prefer? I personally like it when it's 100% separate from Bruce and Dick just tells the Titans that he's trying to separate himself from the role of a sidekick (because like the whole Talon debacle, it's boring when DC makes everything about the Robins be actually about Bruce 🙄)

Yeah, I feel you. I prefer Dick leaving Robin to be his own choice, especially because he put so much of himself into the mantle: his mother’s name, his family’s colors, etc. Dick deserved the right to move on from that in his own time and way, without Bruce sticking his nose in like always. In a perfect world, it would have gone down that way certainly. 

But unfortunately, that Pre-Crisis version of events, where Dick’s choice and agency were respected, hasn’t been canon since 1987. And the harsher version of events didn’t exist in a vacuum; in the 30 years of comics that followed this retcon, Dick being fired had (and to me, continues to have) a pretty significant effect on Dick and his relationships. 

Dick’s relationships 

Obviously, Bruce firing Dick had long term effects on their own relationship, to the extent that Dick remained estranged for years, wasn’t adopted by Bruce until he was an adult, so on and so forth. What I’ve seen people ignore is how much Dick being fired also shaped his relationships with Jason and even Tim to an extent. 

See, the version of events where Dick is fired actually occur in the exact same issue that Jason Todd is first introduced. The comic began with Dick getting shot and fired: 

Batman (1940) #408

And it ended with Jason taking the tires off the Batmobile:

Batman (1940) #408

So, Dick being fired and Jason being taken in are linked; one event didn’t happen without the other. In fact, Dick being fired is what directly lead into Jason being adopted. In addition, Dick not being around for Jason when he is younger is also specifically the result of Dick being estranged from Bruce during that period of time. 

Yet, in the version of events where Dick gave up Robin of his own volition, Dick was so charmed by “Jason” (and I put that in quotations because that version of Jason was literally a circus performer from the Flying Todds, not at all the Jason we are familiar with), that Dick nearly adopted Jason himself. Dick chose to pass Robin on to circus performer Jason Todd.

Batman (1940) #368

And they had great respect for one another. So, if Dick had chosen to move on from Robin, instead of being fired, Dick and Jason would also have likely been close (and Jason would be from the circus also?). But, that’s not remotely how things are in canon; to this day, Dick and Jason continue to have a strained relationship with one another. And this complicated dynamic is nearly a direct result of Dick being estranged, and thus not being there to form a positive relationship with Jason when he was younger. So, Dick being fired is necessary context for Jason and Dick’s relationship. 

In addition, it’s only because Dick and Bruce’s relationship is so strained, that the times that Dick went to comfort Bruce in the aftermath of Jason’s death ended so poorly. 

The New Titans (1988) #55

If you look through the whole conversation, you'll see that the much of it revolves around the fact that Dick wasn’t there for Jason (and Bruce)...“I didn’t expect to see you again” “You weren’t at the funeral” “Are you blaming me? I left, so Jason replaced me, and because I left he died?” “In a few years, I would have had to fire him as I did you” “Why are you pretending to be concerned about Jason? You told me you resented it that I adopted him and not you.”...the conversation can’t even stay on track because the hard feelings that already existed between Batman and Dick got in the way. And why do these hard feelings exist...? Because Bruce fired Dick and thus pushed him away.

Without the firing taking place, it’s likely that Dick would have still had a strong relationship with Bruce, strong enough that his comfort and support would have been accepted rather than rejected. But, because Dick is estranged, it’s necessary that Tim intervene. So, Tim’s initial introduction as a character also hinges on Dick being fired, estranged, and largely out of the picture. 

Dick’s character 

And Bruce’s decision also had a big effect on Dick himself. The weight of Batman’s expectations was always something that Dick carried with him, true. But, after Dick was fired, he was written to be particularly concerned with proving himself to Bruce. Dick believing that Bruce didn’t think he was good enough became a more consistent theme in his internal narrative; Dick began to believe that Bruce didn’t think he is good enough, largely because that’s pretty much what Batman tells him when firing him: 

Batman (1940) #408

Batman (1940) #416

Despite the many years Dick spent fighting crime at Batman’s side, Batman fires him, dismisses their previous success as luck, and makes it clear he views Dick as a child--as a burden--rather than a partner, a capable hero in his own right. The whole speech is patronizing and dismissive. 

So, Dick has valid concerns about not measuring up to Bruce’s expectations, because, at one point, he seemingly didn’t and, as a result of this apparent failure, was all but pushed from Bruce’s life for years. Dick’s insecurity about his place in Bruce’s life, his (at times) near obsessive drive to prove himself to Batman, his tendency to not ask for help when he should (because Dick can’t need help, he should be able to do things on his own because that’s what Batman would expect), all of these little idiosyncrasies that have become apart of Dick’s character, apart of what drives him...it all stems from Dick being fired and being told by the person he most values and wants to impress that he wasn’t good enough. 

To me, pretending that Dick wasn’t fired doesn’t make a ton of sense, even if it stinks that Dick’s choices were taken away. Dick is still dealing with the effects of being fired in comic books today; it feels wrong to ignore that. I’d much rather people acknowledge that it all happened, instead of acting like it’s “just a retcon.” Because at this point, it feels like Dick’s stuck dealing with all the negative fallout of being fired, while not actually being allowed any sort of acknowledgement or comfort or apology about it. 

[ambersky0319]

A human AU where the Light sides were all like a found family, until Logan runs away and they are determined to bring him back no matter what, only to find him with Dexter(Deceit) and Remus and looking far happier than with them. But Virgil hates it, pushing the two away from Logan and trying to force him back before screaming "They're fucking monsters, they could never love someone like you!" Which causes Logan to fight against him and leave the lights for good

Hope you’re happy with this! It was super fun to write but also fuck Virgil in this-

Can be seen as either platonic or romantic Intruloceit, your choice really

Warnings : Unsympathetic Virgil, Somewhat Unsympathetic/Highly Implied Unsympathetic Roman, Morally gray Patton, past suicide mention(none of the main characters), mention of a panic attack, lmk if I need to add anything else!

Masterpost 

——————————–

It was just by chance, meeting Dexter and Remus. Though Logan had known about them for a while. They had a small community on YouTube for their random and often insane ideas, usually done in the name of “science”. They did have some more serious videos, though, one that caught Logan’s interest the most being one where they talked about toxic relationships. They had still made some jokes, mostly about their past experiences, but the video was extremely heartfelt and made Logan curious enough to do some research on his own.

What Logan didn’t know, was that Dexter and Remus actually lived in the same city as him.

Logan had left his and his friends’ house after a particularly harsh argument with Roman, and took a bus further into the city to find a place to relax. He remembered a coffee shop from a few weeks ago that Patton had dragged him to. While Patton didn’t really like it as much as he thought he would, Logan really liked it as the people inside always seemed to be full of life and had hearts of gold(seriously, the barista he talked to looked as though she was glowing in the afternoon light).

Stepping inside, there was only one table open which he took quickly, setting his things down before ordering his coffee. The barista, the same as last time he had visited(a shock to Logan in all honesty that she’d keep the job), made his drink quickly and handed it to him with a bright smile, wishing him a good afternoon. Once back at his table, he took out his laptop to work on one of his many projects. He lost himself in one of his favorites, a novel he was writing. Eventually though, he was pulled from his focus.

“Hey um, sir?”

Logan looked up, and he nearly gasped. Nearly. Standing before him was none other than Dexter, looking rather sheepish as he interrupted Logan.

“Sorry to bother you, but all the other tables are full and I was wondering if my friend and I could sit with you for now, at least until one opens up?” Dexter jabbed his thumb over to the counter, where Remus stood chatting with the barista as she made their drinks and another prepared some food for them. Logan almost forgot how to speak, and he cleared his throat.

“Um, yeah, sure. I don’t mind.” Dexter smiled and slid into the seat across from Logan. Remus joined them not long after.

“I’m Dexter, by the way. And this is Remus.” Dexter slung his arm around Remus once Remus settled beside him.

“I kinda knew. I really like your videos, they’re far more informational than I thought they would be.” And then, it was as if Logan just remembered that he didn’t know these two personally, and his cheeks felt a bit warmer all of a sudden. “Oh, and I’m Logan, by the way.”

“Well Logan, it’s always great to meet a fan,” Dexter said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah! Especially since most people just think we’re two idiots online, huh Dee?” Remus wasn’t really asking him, but he still got an affirmative hum. Remus tilted his head as he studied Logan for a moment. “Hey wait, I’ve seen you before! You’re in that one psych class!”

And that’s how the rest of Logan’s afternoon went. Other tables cleared, but Dexter and Remus didn’t leave Logan’s table as they spoke with him. And Logan’s computer was moved to his bag as he let himself open up to some people other than his main friend group. He wasn’t all too surprised that they had similar interests, and it was fun getting to complain with Remus about the number of projects their teachers gave them.

Over the following months, Logan continued to meet up with them and talk with them late into the night. He learned Dexter wasn’t in college and worked freelance as an artist to pay their house bills so Remus could focus on becoming a psychiatrist(Remus did do art commissions as well to chip in, but Dexter took care of finances the most). Logan also learned that Remus was the younger brother that Roman so often complained about, which initially pissed Logan off. When Remus learned that Logan was living with his brother, and heard of the things Roman had said, just shrugged and told Logan to not tell any of them they hung out. Dexter knew Virgil as well, though he was far less inclined to tell Logan what had happened, and just said they had a major fallout a few years back.

About two years into their friendship, Logan had sent the duo a text during their livestream(Logan had been doing homework and hadn’t noticed the two were busy). It was frantic, and Logan was stuffing essentials into his bag as he waited anxiously for either of them to text back. All Logan’s original text had said was “guys I need OUT”.

Dexter texted him back after ten agonizing minutes, asking what was wrong, and Logan called him, his voice unsteady as he explained the situation. Dexter listened as Remus ended their video so he could hear what was happening too. He and Virgil had gotten into a rather heated argument, and Roman had somehow been dragged into it. Normally Patton was there to calm them all down but he was working at the time, and Logan just couldn’t take any more arguing like this, not when it got so personal and to the point that Logan had been reduced to silence because of a panic attack.

“Do you want me to come pick you up? Lo, where are you?” Remus had snatched Dexter’s phone from his hand.

Logan swallowed thickly, his hand trembling on his own phone as he told them their address. “Virgil and Roman are both home though-”

“Just say you’re going to a last-minute meeting because our teacher is a jackass who does that and the things in your suitcase is this huge project he wanted us to do.” Further away from the phone, Remus called over to Dexter. “Got the keys?” Logan heard Dexter say something along the lines of ‘yes’ and Remus was back on the phone. “Alright, I’ll text you once we’re close by, kay?”

“Mhmm.” Logan took a deep breath, and before Remus could hang up he said, “Thank you, so much.”

He could almost see Remus grinning on the other end. “Don’t worry about it, Logan. See you in a bit.”

Twenty minutes later Logan was in the back of Dexter’s car, having faced no troubles in leaving the house and now on route to Remus and Dexter’s home. The drive was pretty quiet, the silence only filled by the radio playing some random songs softly. 

They showed Logan to his new room, offering to take him out over the weekend to buy some paints if he liked and some other things Logan might want to add to his room. They had just given him their guest room, which was usually for the occasional friend to crash on(they claimed their friend Remy visited the most, but both were sure Remy wouldn’t care if Logan took the spare room). Logan declined their offer for going out shopping, saying that them just letting him stay was good enough.

He was able to move his things in quickly(he really didn’t have much while living with the others anyway), and Logan got to enjoy takeout with his new roommates as they lounged on the couch. Dexter was the first of the two to ask Logan if he wanted to talk about what had happened earlier with Roman and Virgil, to which Logan just shook his head.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Logan said after some thought, and Dexter hummed but didn’t push. He instead returned his attention to the documentary they had picked to watch.

Over the next few days, Logan ignored the explosion of texts he was getting from Roman, Virgil, and Patton, having already told them that he’d moved out about an hour after Logan had initially left. All of them just chose to ignore his message though, it seemed, and Logan actually grew frustrated with how many times the trio was calling him. Eventually, Logan just blocked their numbers and returned his focus to his papers that were due a few days from then.

About two weeks since Logan left the trio, and there’s an unwelcome knock on their door. Remus answers it when he realizes Logan is too caught up on writing and Dexter is busy making dinner, and he stares in shock at who he finds.

Logan looks up when he notices Remus frozen in the doorway to their home. “Rem?” He snaps Remus out of his daze, and Remus glances at him worriedly.

“Uhm.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Remus, just let us see him so we can talk this out!” Logan tenses at the voice, it’s unmistakably Roman’s, but then he just lets his shoulders fall and sighs. Taking this as an 'okay I’ll deal with it’, Remus lets Roman, Virgil, and Patton inside.

Logan closed his laptop, setting it to the side and staring up at the trio, the people he once called family. He still remembered the argument though, the words used which cut through him so badly Logan would have preferred to have been stabbed. “What is it?” He asked, resting his chin on his hand.

“What is it? Logan! You just up and disappeared for two weeks!” Patton exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “You can’t just do that and make us worry!”

“Roman and Virgil were truly worried about me?” Logan sounded unimpressed. Patton glanced at his other friends as if daring them to answer otherwise.

“Of course we were worried, Logan, you’re like family-”

“So your ideal family is where you threaten to prohibit my breathing? Or claim that I was so annoying, always ruining everyone’s fun and curiosity with my 'boring facts’ and 'unwanted ramblings’ and 'caution’, and that it would just be better if I could disappear for a few hours? And that was just from our last fight!”

Dexter appeared from the kitchen, leaning against the wall that separated it from the living room.

Virgil bit his lip before letting out a fake nervous laugh. “Lo, you know I was only-”

“Oh Stormcloud, don’t play it off as a joke. You knew damn well how that would affect Logan.” Dexter cut Virgil off.

“Plus so many other things you two said!” Remus sang as he plopped down next to Logan, glaring at his brother momentarily. “Honestly, hearing Logan recount the argument, plus so many others you lot apparently had? It’s like none of you changed since we last talked.” Remus slung his arm around Logan, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “And Roman, reducing someone to a panic attack is low, even for you.”

Roman rolled his eyes, huffed, and blatantly ignored his brother. “Logan, c'mon, you can’t really just stay here.”

Logan glanced at Remus, then at Dexter across the room. He leaned into Remus’s embrace. “Actually, I can.”

Virgil glared, and he honestly hated how Logan didn’t even blink when he yelled. “But they’re fucking monsters! I mean, Dexter drove his mom to suicide and Remus is fucking Remus! What could either of them have that is even close to what you had with us?”

Dexter had wide eyes now, his confidence gone and Logan couldn’t tell if the look on Remus’s face was hurt or anger. Logan just stared at Virgil in shock.

“I mean, really! Neither of them could ever love someone like you, Logan, hardly anyone can put up with you-”

That got Logan to his feet, and as quick as the words had left Virgil’s mouth he was being shoved out the door, followed by Roman and then Patton(who was the only one of the trio to apologize to Dexter and Remus, and whisper his apology to Logan as he passed). Logan glared down at Virgil, and for once Virgil couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

“You know, there might have been the tiniest chance of me coming back. But now? Now I just hope you stay out of my damn life.” And with that, Logan slammed the door. He could hear Virgil and Roman argue with Patton about trying again, but it seemed Patton had convinced them to just leave.

Logan grabbed Dexter from where he was frozen by the kitchen entrance and dragged him over to the couch where Remus still sat. Once they both sat down, Dexter wiping away a few tears that had sprung to his eyes, both Dexter and Remus cuddled up to Logan. Remus laughed. 

“Remind me to never get on your bad side!”

“Hush and enjoy the fact that the assholes are hopefully gone for good,” Logan muttered, and Dexter just hummed in appreciation. Their food was burned as they had all fallen asleep, and they just ordered a pizza and opted to watch some trashy horror film Remus had rented the day prior.

Midway through the movie, when Remus had passed out from sheer boredom, Dexter had looked up at Logan. “Lo?”

Logan looked away from their television just as one of the main characters was slaughtered(Logan couldn’t remember his name, he was destined to be murdered anyway so Logan didn’t bother to try and remember it). He tilted his head as he waited for Dexter to continue.

“You know we do love you, right?” Logan smiled slightly, looking back to the TV and he leaned his head on Dexter’s.

“I do. I love you guys, too.”

——————————–

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[bearpillowmonster]

Horizon Zero Dawn Review

The game that critics have been raving about for years and I just haven't played. I heard a lot of people say "this needs a movie" but they say that about any game that dares to be a little bit cinematic because I personally disagree.

That first part is rough, the story seems so in your face, predictable and bland but I think the problem is that it didn't know how to put in its exposition. I think it naturally builds up as it goes on, getting bigger and broader, it's just those first experiences that can be a slog because you're pretty much learning what style you're going to play in.

I got more or less everything I expected, crafting, a skill tree, various weapons. What I didn't expect though are dialogue options. You can choose normally up to four paths, an intelligent one, a compassionate one, and a straightforward one. You don't have to worry about the stress of trying to reach a specific ending because there's really only one, the only thing that affects it is the amount of people that are in it. So does that make the choices irrelevant? Yes and no because there are different dialogue options and like I said, which means that you can get certain characters to like you more given the option you choose but not in the same way that relationship points work and I definitely felt the draw to do that whenever I came across my first side-quest.

Side-quests are interesting, I love tracking things in games, though it's rare that you actually get the chance to do it and here you have a good amount of opportunities. Is that all though? Far from it. I actually found myself searching for side-quests because the first two were so satisfying. It really only began to show its hand a bit more after those quests. As I mentioned, there are a lot more RPG elements than I first imagined but it starts to send you on scavenger hunts, especially that Dreamwillow one, that one I actually laughed out loud at every time I was turned away. It also starts to gatekeep to where it recommends that you be a certain level which is...odd? I mean at face value it looks like you could rock basically any combat situation that isn't context sensitive. Leveling up gives you abilities but they're more like Deus Ex on that front, where it's just for preference and upgrading, not necessarily strength. The only thing you improve on offense wise basically boils down to having the right materials or units to buy weapons then a matter of finding modifications. Other than that, leveling up seems to just increase your health. It really just depends on the quest too because I'll play one above my level and be fine then play another that's actually under my level and feel stuck.

Now I only played it on normal mode so something like "Ultra Hard" is bound to be more demanding but as far as actual side quest content, I feel like they have potential but just need tweaked, give me more stuff for major characters that affects their standing with me. Rather than having each quest be contained in its own story, have it affect you later in the game, let your actions be shown, give it rewards and consequences. There are some really great side-quests but there are also some crappy ones, it doesn't pass that threshold that most RPGs fall under or anything. However, I did find myself doing side-quests at my own free will and the ones that I didn't like or couldn't do at the time, I just skipped and focused on something else, I felt a lot more freedom with this game, like I didn't feel forced to grind or do a certain number of side-quests or really do anything. It encourages you to explore and play the way you want to play and I respect the heck out of that. Maybe it's different for other players though.

Perhaps my favorite actual side thing was the Cauldrons for those who actually played this, you'll know why. For those who didn't, just know that it's cool and let it be a surprise for when you go to one. You might expect these big set-pieces and bosses like Uncharted or GoW, but it's not really like that. I genuinely think that this is more video-gamey than it lets on which certainly takes up its runtime. One addition to side-quests that I would like to see is one where you don't know it's happening. For example, in this game, you'll come across random hunters who are attacking or being attacked by machines but rather than just going on about your day and them going on about their's, I want to fight off the machine and the person say "You saved my life, my name's Jara, I live in the town nearby and want to repay you." so you go there and there's trouble so it starts up a side-quest. Now don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of instances of people getting attacked actually being a mission but most of the time someone in town will just tell you "I haven't seen this person in a while, can you go check on them for me?" It's the art of subtlety and also just doing a good deed and getting rewarded for it. It's a conscious choice and split decision rather than just another checkmark on your list to complete.

Now I won't bother listing the characters and rating them but there's a certain aspect that has me really enthused So, Aloy is an outcast and a lot of these side missions and scenarios reflect her, you'll see the way she can relate with other characters, making it almost poetic in a subliminal kind of way. Then they add this tribal and futuristic setting to it where Aloy acts as the medium, there are parts of the game where she questions the tribe because they cut themselves off from technology and just don't know any better and we as a viewer know that but having the main character view things in 'our' lens is pretty genius. To top that off, they give her enough personality to be her own character while giving us enough power to influence her so that we ourselves can REFLECT WITH HER. It's not her character that I'm impressed with, it's the layout of the story.

So, how is the main story? It's kind of like the Flood scenario in Halo if I'm being honest. I'm not going to spoil anything but it's passable, like I said, it's not like an Uncharted and it's not like a movie. The visuals just look good at times (I took all the pictures in this review myself and so much more!). I'd call it a futuristic/tribal mix between Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Skyrim but I see elements of a lot of things. (Also since it's post apoctalypic, you find items that we see in modern day, like how they call keys, "chimes"! They think they're windchimes because there are no more cars! I love that!)

It actually does a pretty good job at being an open world considering that there are tons of things to do on your routes as well as collect but it's not so much so that it seems unfeasible, as I said, I found myself doing a good chunk of the side stuff just because it was fun to do and I'm not even close to a completionist for any game. If you mess up, healing plants will still be there. As long as you save, enemy parts will still be there. A place can be cleared out and conquered so that enemies don't come back. The actual towns are peaceful so you can't get mangled by any bots outside of scripted instances.

The graphics are pretty good but I can see some error here and there, nothing necessarily game breaking but the animations and AI are definitely janky at times. It's pretty obvious from the get-go but I'll do my best to specify and give constructive criticism on what I found wrong with certain aspects of the game. Rost is slow, like slower than walking speed but that's not to speak for all NPCs, some run, some you don't need to follow, it was really just him. I've had NPCs who fight but miss every single time on simple enemies (that might not be a bug, that might just be a funny bit that someone decided to add in). Sabretooths have jumped through walls (granted the walls were kinda broken but I'm not sure if those big boys can fit when they can barely find the entrance) I found myself jumping to a ledge or on a rope but not land it and just drop (it really boils down to loosening the hit box for that). Which to add on to that, I would like more places to climb and jump to in general (other than stupid mountains). I felt like there wasn't really enough that I could climb and the places that I could, could've been a bit more obvious that I could, maybe even make it viewable with your focus if you don't want it to be visually outstanding. There's a day and night cycle and while I like that, I found some of the contrast to be annoying because I could be staring a ladder right in the face and not even know it sometimes because it would be so dark. I'm not going to complain too much about it because I didn't turn my brightness up, I just left it at default and I would assume the PS5 version fixes some of those little things.

Now, this one is kind of a gray area: Hiking up mountains. Skyrim, Fallout, and Death Stranding went too far and gave little to no barriers. They had you looking for sweet spots that weren't there in order to cheese your way through an area either on or off a beaten path. But I would compare this to something like GTA where it's not as bad and does have its limits but might need tightened up some more because I can certainly get to places that lead to nowhere.

I've made headshots that don't make contact or damage while using precision. Part of that problem was that they could be high up in a tower (which have spikes sticking out) and I would hit ABOVE the logs, to make a headshot but since it was in that vicinity, it registered that as the spikes' hitbox so it wouldn't cause any damage and just alert the enemy (same if I was in the tower, looking down). Input lag where I hit up button on the D-Pad to regain health and I have to keep pressing it. If I had to guess, you have to meet the requirements of not taking damage, staying still, etc in order for it to actually work but it doesn't really have a reason to do that and it doesn't "tell" you that those are the requirements (as far as I know).

During the final boss, one of the enemies hit me into a rock wall, trapping me inside of it and the boss was already half health so I really didn't want to have to restart (I also didn't know how far back the checkpoint was) so I kept shooting stuff and eventually the boss destroyed the wall, allowing me to get out (timed section, by the way). There have been a few times where a tree or leaf or something is obstructing a cutscene and sometimes there will be a mech in the background screaming over the NPC talking, which I'm sure is due to the cutscenes being real-time which is still pretty impressive. Now are these errors all the time? No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that some times these things happened and that I felt it needed ironed out but I wouldn't call this half baked or an unfinished product or anything, it's nowhere near that level. I get that there are so many NPCs that it's hard to account for them all with facial animations but whenever they're talking, it seems pretty static and sometimes the lips don't line up. There's this one guy who says that he got lost in a sandstorm but he's standing in snow. Again, little nitpicks in an otherwise great game.

Now, I got this game for free as a Playstation promotion but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be great, I played a little bit of that Ratchet & Clank reboot that was offered and I wasn't impressed, I quit after the first few worlds and was glad I didn't buy it at launch, (despite being a classic PS2 R&C fan) but we're not here to review that. I also played Abzu and loved it but it was short so it was definitely worth a play but maybe not 60$ (I actually think it's 20$ at this point though). With this game, it's the whole complete edition with DLC and everything, it has the length, so it really just boils down to "Would I have spent money on it otherwise?"

I think I would've if I knew more about it because I think it just got better and better after that first part of the game. It's marketed a bit differently than what I ended up getting but I found myself pouring hours into this game and loving it for one reason or another. I actually bought Shadow of the Colossus along with it (which is considered a cult classic) but I liked Horizon so much better, definitely worth its full price in my opinion. (So your promotion worked on me Sony, congrats) It has its problems but the potential is there and I feel like a sequel would probably iron out a lot of my troubles with it, so it's definitely a franchise worth investing into.

If you're interested in what I thought of the DLC alone (if you didn't get the Ultimate edition and are wondering if the extra content is worth it) I have a separate post that goes into that here.

[the-odinson]

Thor 🗲 Intro

“Fortunately, I am mighty...”

OOC PORTION —

NAME: Danny

PRONOUNS: he/him

AGE: 23

TIMEZONE: GMT +1

TRIGGERS: None

IC PORTION; BASICS —

CHARACTER NAME: Thor Odinson

FACECLAIM: Chris Hemsworth

AFFILIATIONS: The Avengers

AGE: 1500s/appears mid 30s

SPECIES: Alien (Asgardian)

IDENTITY: Public

DOES YOUR CHARACTER LIVE IN THE MOUSEHOLE? IF SO, WHAT ARE THEIR DUTIES? Yes, but he doesn’t particularly like it there. He doesn’t feel the effects of the cold, but Thor has never liked being confined so prefers to get outside as much as possible. Thor has decided to take on the role of a hunter/gatherer. The vast forests of Europe aren’t too dissimilar to the Asgardian wilderness and, while the beasts aren’t as ferocious as back home, what’s a king to do if not revel in the hunt? When needed he will also help with aid work: he can cover great distances with ease and carrying heavy loads is hardly a problem for him.

DESCRIBE SIX TRAITS (3 positive, 3 negative) YOUR CHARACTER HAS AND HOW THESE AFFECT THEM:

Dependable: A man of his word, Thor is trustworthy and reliable; an asset in any team and to anyone who has a favour to ask. Endearing: Those who truly get to know Thor speak of him with admiration; his warm smile and welcoming personality don’t come to all, but if he lets his guard down you’re guaranteed a friend with whom you feel truly comfortable. Benevolent: Thor (usually) means well and (usually) tries to be kind to anyone he encounters. His exterior may come across as brash but there’s no malice involved, often just a difference in culture and upbringing. Obstinate: While being headstrong may not always be a negative thing, Thor hates to admit he’s wrong and has a tendency to steamroll down a chosen path rarely reassessing whether the choices he made were the right ones or simply the first ones. Distrusting: Thor enjoys being social but mainly around those he’s close to. He can appear a little hostile to strangers: while he wants to believe in the good in people, he’s been around long enough and seen a lot of the universe to know of the potential darkness inside them too. Reckless: Thor often acts on impulse and charges into situations unprepared. This can lead to serious damage caused to both himself and those around him.

POWERS AND/OR ABILITIES: Super strength: Son of Odin and King of Asgard, Thor is physically the strongest of all Asgardians, with feats including being able to go one-on-one with the Hulk and other powerful entities. Flight: Thor’s magical axe Stormbreaker grants him the ability to fly. Electricity Manipulation: Thor is capable of generating electrical energy within his body and can expel it in the form of lightning bolts. Using Stormbreaker makes the energy generation and expulsion much more powerful and efficient. Weather Control: Similarly, either with or without Stormbreaker (although with Stormbreaker is easier), Thor can control the sky and create storms. Durability: His Asgardian physiology grants much more durability than a human one, able to shrug off energy blasts and recover from injury much quicker. Thor can also survive in space and alien atmospheres. Allspeak: Also called the All-Tongue, Asgardians speak a magic-based language, granting the ability to understand and be understood in all the languages of the Nine Realms. Bifrost: Stormbreaker also gifts Thor the power to summon the Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge connecting all realms, allowing intergalactic travel between worlds in a matter of moments.

WEAKNESSES: There aren’t many things on Earth that could pose a threat to Thor, so it’s hard to pinpoint any specific weaknesses. Perhaps for someone like Thor, the word god comes up so often that he sometimes forgets it’s not true: he is mortal and, while far more durable than a human, he can get injured and he can get killed, a fact that he often brushes to the side when charging into battle. However he has become far more self-aware after losing an eye (and almost his life) to Hela.

IC PORTION; DETAILS —

WHAT BROUGHT YOUR CHARACTER TO SOKOVIA?

Sokovia is where the majority of Thor’s allies are, and he needs their help. His world gone, his people stranded on the nearest hospitable realm in need of a home; Thor knew of a place where the Asgardians could blend in and live peaceful lives. The problem is, however, it seems Earth is not quite at peace right now. When he couldn’t track down the Avengers in New York, he followed the trail to Novi Grad. His priorities are conflicting: while he came back to Earth to ask the Avengers’ help in establishing a new Asgard on this planet, he feels he should stay to try and help his friends however he can in aiding the Nomad’s cause.

DID THEY SIGN THE ACCORDS? WHY OR WHY NOT?

No - the whole Accords situation is mostly unbeknownst to Thor due to being offworld at the time of signing. From what he can gather, it isn’t something that would appeal to him. He feels the affairs of humans are mostly petty ones and, despite his growing acclimatisation to Earth and its customs, he doesn’t understand why humans have to be so divided about, well, pretty much everything.

PROVIDE 3-5 HEADCANONS RELATED TO YOUR CHARACTER: 1. Although Thor is an alien, he has spent enough time on this planet (in both modern and ancient times) for the culture shock to lessen so that now Earth to Thor is more comparable to a human travelling to a different country - he acknowledges that the differences are neither better nor worse and he chooses to respect them. He knows he will make mistakes and appear strange, but sees that now as an opportunity for personal growth. 2. One thing he doubts he will ever understand however, is the human version of ‘entertainment’. Thor cannot stand movies. On Asgard, they would entertain themselves by slaying fearsome monsters or engaging in a friendly drunken brawl, the more broken furniture the better! But on Earth they amuse themselves by… sitting down and staring at a screen for hours on end. While both Asgard and Earth had/have magnificent technology, it’s clear they used it very differently.

3. Since returning to Earth, Thor has become intrigued in the Norse tales of himself and his people from over a thousand years ago and their alleged feats. He finds it highly amusing how inaccurate the stories are, but it has led to a fascination of human mythology and the various pantheons across history and the world. He wonders if he will ever meet any other of these so-called gods.

4. While a human brain only has capacity for almost a century’s worth of memories, an Asgardian brain is built for a few millennia’s worth. Therefore Thor has a much more acute long-term memory than his human companions, although occasionally his short-term memory leaves something to be desired, especially after several pints of mead.

WANTED CHARACTER CONNECTIONS: 

Loki: His brother and the person he loves (and hates) most in the cosmos. I know a thing or two about brotherly love (I’ve been experiencing it for 23 years) so would love to write for Thor with his undeniably most personal connection. Wonder Woman: Both ancient, both ‘gods’ and both so very far from home. Despite their different allegiances I think it would be great to have Thor bond with perhaps the one person around here who may truly understand him. Superman: If anything they both have fabulous red capes. They are quite similar power-wise, although I know Superman is stronger but Thor definitely wouldn’t want to admit that. It could lead to some healthy (or unhealthy?) competition between the two, especially seeing as Thor isn’t too fond of the Justice League. Captain America & Iron Man: The two splintered team leaders. Thor respects them both (Tony a little less, perhaps…) and, since he doesn’t really understand the extent of the accords, would like to hear their sides of the story and what has happened since the Ultron incident. Bruce Banner: Thor has fought with the Hulk a couple of times but feels this has brought the two closer, learning more about how Bruce ticks and now he feels there’s a protective bond between the pair. I think the interactions they have could bring out the comedic style of writing which I love!

POTENTIAL CHARACTER ARCS: In the previous paragraph I said I like writing comedic characters (of which Thor fits the bill) but I also want to explore the deeper aspects of his personality such as the emotional pain of losing his parents, his childhood friends and his home. This could manifest in him not wanting to form bonds with others in the Mousehole at first because he’s lost so many people: why would he want to get close with anyone else only to lose them again? Perhaps a dramatic fallout with someone from a different team could lead to serious consequences for him or the team as a whole.

The reason I chose for placing Thor in Sokovia is that he’s seeking a location for New Asgard: maybe with all its emigrating population and empty buildings Sokovia could be the perfect location… I’m not sure how it would work in the group, but maybe Thor could eventually bring the Asgardians here, both to settle and to help with the restoration of the country.

CHARACTER BIO —

You know the story. An Asgardian prince, lacking in humility and exiled to Earth in order to learn what it means to be worthy. A classic tale, but at its heart, a tale of loss, and a tale of what it means to truly be human: even if you’re not. Thor has lived for well over a millenia, but only in the last decade has his life really begun. From landing on Earth a long time after people stopped worshipping him, he slowly began to understand the importance of relationships; from forming close bonds with the Avengers (and wary acquaintances with the Justice League and X-Men), to experiencing true love for the very first time. All his life Thor had assumed that humans were lesser beings, so why then did he feel he was learning so much more from them than he had ever learned from his own kind? 

After experiencing the death of his mother, then later on his father and three close childhood friends, Thor was at breaking point when his home realm of Asgard was obliterated during Ragnarök by the fire demon Surtur. With the title of King thrust upon him, Thor decided his duty to his people had to consume him before his emotions did. Pursuing the quest of a new home, he led them to Nidavellir, the homeworld of the dwarfs; unsurpassable smiths and mechanics with the power to forge almost anything the mind can dream of, ruled over by their King, Eitri. Eons ago, Eitri had forged the legendary hammer Mjölnir (destroyed by Hela) at Odin’s request, now he oversaw the creation of the glorious axe Stormbreaker when asked by Thor, capable of summoning the rainbow bridge despite its apparent destruction on Asgard. Armed with his new tool and a promise to the Asgardians of a brighter future, Thor set out alone across the stars, heading to Midgard to find his old allies the Avengers. He’d helped the humans many times before, hopefully they’ll be able to help him and his race this time. 

It took Thor losing everything to appreciate what he has. As he enters the next phase of his life in Sokovia, without family or a home, he is truly the definition of a nomad.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Books 15-18 of 26

Titles: The Murderbot Diaries -- All Systems Red (#1), Artificial Condition (#2), Rogue Protocol (#3), and Exit Strategy (#4) (2017-2018)

Author: Martha Wells 

Genre/Tags: Science Fiction, Cyberpunk (ish), Novella, Agender/Nonbinary Protagonist, Asexual Protagonist, First Person 

Rating: 9/10 (note: this is an average-- see under the cut for individual ratings) 

Date Began: 6/15/2020

Date Finished: 6/23/2020 

Murderbot is a SecUnit -- a humanoid security construct created to protect contracted clients in a corporate, spacefaring future. Following mysterious/murderous events in its past, Murderbot hacked the governor module controlling its actions. Now it prefers to watch media serials and half-ass the whole “protecting human clients” thing. 

This changes when it discovers someone is sabotaging its clients’ planetary mission, putting the team in grave danger. Even worse, these new clients start to treat it like a person, much to Murderbot’s discomfort. In the resulting fallout, Murderbot finds itself answering questions it’s avoided thus far -- who it is, and what it really wants. 

I’m doing something a little different and combining these four novellas into one review; they are too short and interconnected to review individually in my regular format. Under the cut, I’ll start with my overall impressions of the series, then a look at/rating of each individual story. 

Who knew being a heartless killing machine would present so many moral dilemmas. 

(Yes, that was sarcasm.) 

Overall Thoughts 

I really enjoyed this series! The strong point is without a doubt Wells’ excellent characterization of a distinctly non-human viewpoint character. Murderbot is a very interesting protagonist, and its constant snark and parenthetical asides are a joy to read. Much to its dismay, there’s also a lot of emotional punch entwined in Murderbot’s character arc and interactions. Murderbot may not be a human, but it’s definitely a person. 

It seems obvious to me that Murderbot is intended to be autism spectrum/ADHD coded. I’ve never encountered an unambiguously heroic protagonist that displays similar behaviors to my own, and it’s affirming to read. Difficulty with processing emotion? Hyperfixating on media to comfort itself? Issues with direct eye contact and touch? Truly a bot after my own heart. Honestly, I dreaded the point in the story where these are presented as weaknesses for Murderbot to overcome... and was overjoyed that it never happens. In fact, characters accommodate these aspects of Murderbot’s behavior/personality and respect its boundaries. This totally surprised and impressed me. 

Finally, I do really appreciate Wells’ approach to nonbinary characters. While it’s nice that we’re getting more representation, it can be very grating/telling if all nonbinary characters in popular media are nonhuman. Wells asks “why not both” and introduces a nonbinary human that uses neopronouns in Artificial Condition! I don’t use neopronouns myself, but I know plenty of people who do, and this is the first “mainstream” thing I’ve ever seen use them. 

I found this first arc in The Murderbot Diaries relatable, entertaining, approachable, and easy to read. I’m super excited to see where the series goes from here. 

All Systems Red (#1) -- 8/10 

It’s wrong to think of a construct as half bot, half human. It makes it sound like the halves are discrete, like the bot half should want to obey orders and do its job and the human half should want to protect itself and get the hell out of here. As opposed to the reality, which was that I was one whole confused entity, with no idea what I wanted to do. What I should do. What I needed to do. 

This is a good introduction to the premise. Murderbot's interactions with the human characters are a highlight throughout the series, but I think it’s especially true in this part. Wells does an excellent job, as many others have said, making a distinctly nonhuman perspective character sympathetic, interesting, and relatable. I like that the human characters treat Murderbot like a person/member of the team by default and generally respect its personal limits-- AND we didn't get some trite cliche about it-- AND that this throws Murderbot into an emotional crisis because it hasn't experienced this before.

If I have criticism here, it’s that the plot feels incidental; more a vehicle for certain character interactions than an involving story in and of itself. While the conflict and central antagonist do return in Exit Strategy, in this one they don’t feel especially relevant. The narrative thrust is more about Murderbot's personal development and denial/coming to terms with its attachment to the human characters, especially Dr. Mensah.

To be fair, it is weird to give this a numeric score because it feels like rating the first fourth of a full novel. So take this with a grain of salt. 

Artificial Condition (#2) -- 9/10

But there weren’t any depictions of SecUnits in books, either. I guess you can’t tell a story from the point of view of something that you don’t think has a point of view.  

Artificial Condition introduces another nonhuman character who is distinctly different from Murderbot, yet still fun and compelling: ART the research ship! Who’s moonlighting as a cargo transport. It's the ship on the cover, which I didn’t know going in, and this blew my mind for some reason. Anyway, the friendship between ART and Murderbot was really fun and genuine. I know ART shows up later, so I’m very excited for that; it adds a lot to the narrative. While I didn’t find the human cast as interesting as in All Systems Red, I do appreciate that there’s an actual nonbinary human character. 

The plot of Artificial Condition is still pretty secondary, but it does connect to Murderbot’s past, so I found it more engaging. In general, Murderbot gets a lot of interesting character development, and over time gains a lot of nuance. I think this is great, considering how complex and well-written it is from the start. There’s an excellent moment of delayed emotional payoff near the end when Murderbot helps a character after learning something earlier in the story. It’s hard to describe without spoilers, but I thought this was really cool. 

Rogue Protocol (#3) -- 9/10

Or Miki was a bot who had never been abused or lied to or treated with anything but indulgent kindness. It really thought its humans were its friends, because that’s how they treated it. 

I signaled Miki I would be withdrawing for one minute. I needed to have an emotion in private. 

Like Murderbot, I find myself missing ART, but we do get an alternate nonhuman character in Miki. Overall, Murderbot's character arc feels way more connected to the conflict and action in this story than the previous installments, which is nice. While this is presumably a throwaway cast based in the ending, I thought Miki and Don Abene's friendship was an interesting foil to what I assume is going to happen with Murderbot and Dr. Mensah.

While this trait has been present throughout, this installment makes it very clear that despite its protests, Murderbot genuinely does want to help and protect people of its own free will, even when doing so is not the quickest or most self-preserving choice. There are multiple points in this story (and the previous ones) where Murderbot could choose to save itself or abandon people in need. But it doesn’t; it just sighs and complains about having to protect stupid humans. I love Murderbot. 

Also, this is one of those works where the meaning of the title doesn't really hit until you finish it, and oof.

Exit Strategy (#4) -- 10/10

So the plan wasn’t a clusterfuck, it was just circling the clusterfuck target zone, getting ready to come in for a landing. 

This one just slaps from start to finish. We get the full post-development emotional payoff re: Murderbot’s complicated feelings about the humans from All Systems Red. The characterization, plot, humor, and action are all on-point and the best in the series.  

I don’t really have anything else to say except this is an awesome conclusion to the first arc, and definitely my favorite of the 4 stories. I’m excited to see where things go from here. 

[rockshortage]

SKILLS - Fallout OC Ask Prompt

Here it is, everything in one place. The questions I haven’t answered already in a different post are in bold so you can easily skip to those if you want.

now all in bold because it’s been a while since I posted this

Barter

1. How important is making money or acquiring wealth to your character? Do they even need it? 

Hector generally makes do with what he has, but he sure as hell enjoys the monetary benefits to being Overboss. Finally he can indulge a bit, get a semblance of pre-war comforts back and invest the surplus to get the rest of Nuka World to that stage too. And also buy a bunch of shit he doesn’t need because he thinks it’s cool. And since part of the Overboss’ job is to flex on everyone once in a while, he allows himself to be a bit excessive sometimes.

2. Is your character quick to take care of others in need, or do they look out for themselves first and foremost?

If they’re a good friend, they almost always come first. With strangers/acquaintances, it depends a lot on the situation and on what people expect of him. He has trouble saying no, so if someone asks him for help, he’s not likely to leave them hanging. If not specifically asked, he’Il try to just kinda slip away undetected (which often works well because he doesn’t have much of a presence). Nothing is his business unless people make it so. He will feel bad about his inaction in various situations though.

3. What is something other than money that could make your character do something they otherwise wouldn’t want to do? What about something they otherwise really, really, really wouldn’t want to do?

He does a lot of things he doesn’t want to due to peer pressure or expectations people have of the Overboss.

For the latter, if his own safety or the safety of someone or something he really cares about is seriously threatened. Blackmail, basically. Or if it’s something that someone he cares about would really appreciate. Like this is their lifelong dream and Hector can make it reality if he just does this thing that he absolutely does not want to do. He’d do that.

Energy Weapons

4. Does your character prefer high-tech or low-tech solutions to problems?

High-tech if there is time for it, as that usually takes longer than the equivalent of hitting the problem with a rock. He’s a techy guy, solving problems using his field of expertise is fun and rewarding, so that’s what he’ll usually try to do. But sometimes he can’t argue with the simplest solution often being the best.

5. What does your character think about pre-war society? 

Hard to say since I haven’t really worked out what the heck he was doing pre-war and how much he remembers of it. But he’s always been rather isolated, whether that be of his own choice or a result of his conditions. Which means he doesn’t care all that much about society and whatever it’s up to again. He’s just trying to vibe in his own little space. I can’t imagine him being happy that they started a war though. He doesn’t regret the loss of society as much as he regrets the loss of the comforts and luxuries it brought him. Existential dread about the world ending bad but not worrying about more immediate threats to his life in the form of wasteland inhabitants good.

6. Is your character easily exhaustible? Are they normally an energetic person or more lethargic? If the former, what would reduce them to the latter; if the latter, what would excite them into the former?

It’s not that he’s easily exhaustible, he’s got rather good endurance and drive. It’s just that he is exhausted most of the time, due to his sleep issues. So his default state is generally on the lethargic side, but he has bursts of energy. Be that finding the fun in clearing the parks and destroying shit, or less noticeably when he’s engrossed in a project.

Explosives

7. How does your character express anger? Do they have a short temper, do they bury their rage until they burst, or can they handle it well?

He usually buries it, at least for the moment. Put on a pokerface and then release his anger later with the help of loud music or going out into the wastes and destroying some shit. There are exceptions, where he loses his shit on the spot, the main one being someone ‘hurting’ MAAK.

8. Does your character have any particular pet peeves that irritate them?

Way too fucking many to list – once he notices that is. The only reason he doesn’t spend every second of being around other people angry is that he’s often kind of oblivious or anxious, which makes him self-centered and not notice the little things people are doing around him.

I think I named a few examples in another ask meme, such as excessive public displays of affection and loud/open mouthed chewing. Here’s another one: when someone uses a lot abbreviations and acronyms and assumes everyone will just know what they mean. It’s often a cultural thing and therefore most if not all people around him will know, but Hector can’t ask ‘what does this mean’ 7 times in one conversation because then he’ll look stupid but he literally cannot follow this conversation anymore which will also make him look stupid if someone catches onto it and this could have all been avoided if they said actual words instead of nonsensical amalgamations of letters and ARGH.

9. Is there anything that anyone who knows better should avoid bringing up to your character (i.e., any conversational landmines)?

I was gonna say criticism about MAAK, but if I’m getting this right, ‘anyone who knows better’ means they have some form of positive relationship with Hector. So I’m not sure this applies all that well. They’d still have to be careful around the subject because he takes this kind of thing personally very quickly, but if they are an acquaintance or friend, he will be a bit more lenient instead of like… trying to fistfight them on the spot. Maybe he’ll let a comment slide or calmly remind them to Not Speak Their Mind about this. Seriously. Back Off From This Topic And We Won’t Have A Problem.

Can’t think of any better examples right now, file it under pending character development :V

Guns

10. What is your character’s weapon of choice? Are they good in a fight, whether armed or not?

He prefers to be far away from his target and pick them off before a fight can really break out, so his go to is a sniper rifle. Though he hasn’t (or rather I haven’t) found ‘the one’ yet. It’s a dilemma between ballistics, which are more fun to shoot, and energy weapons, which have little to no recoil and are therefore much easier to handle (and because technology cool). It’s probably going to be a heavily modified laser/plasma/gauss rifle of some kind.

He’s not very good when it gets to close range. He has to end the fight as quickly as he can, put some distance between himself and his opponent, or just try to outlast them by dodging/absorbing hits until they tire themselves out.

11. Has your character ever killed anyone purely in cold blood?

I might just be dumb but I’m having genuine trouble deciding what counts as cold blood and what doesn’t. Since Hector frequents raider circles where murder is almost normalized, I feel like the definition of it gets much more narrowed down, which means there’s a chance he’s never actually killed someone by strict definition of ‘cold blood’ (without emotion or mercy). From a non-raider, upstanding citizen viewpoint though? All the fucking time.

(Technically obsolete since I rewrote the answer, but I’ll leave this here anyway: Say, he has to lead a raid on a settlement – the people there have done nothing wrong, but they’re on turf that one of the gangs really wants, and Hector hasn’t been able to convince them to just leave. So they have to die, and Hector has to set an example to keep the respect of the gangs. He’ll do it, but it’s shitty and he’ll feel awful, their terrified faces and dying breaths haunt him for a while. From an outside perspective, he killed them in cold blood. But on the inside, Hector isn’t emotionless about it at all, it doesn’t feel good, it wasn’t fun, he’s full of regret and he dreads the next time he has to do this again.)

12. What are your character’s opinions on war? Is it something necessary or barbaric, or both? Do they believe in noble conflict or the existence of “a good war?”

As with many things, he can be swayed in either direction, depending on the circumstances, the people around him, and his own memories. Sometimes he thinks it’s a necessary means to an end, might even go as far as to glorify certain aspects of it – as long as he has the outside perspective. When he’s actually involved himself and everything gets too close for comfort, he’ll see how ugly of an affair it really is and regret that he ever condoned any of it. …until he forgets again.

Lockpick

13. Does your character prefer careful finesse or brute force in most situations? 

Careful finesse, definitely. It really frustrates him to watch people trying to brute force something that would be solved so much easier if they just showed a little care.

14. How greedy is your character? Would they scavenge anything and everything they can carry from someplace “just in case”, or only ever take what they know they need?

By that definition, very greedy. But like, why go out to scavenge ruins and not take everything you see? Are you really gonna leave half the stuff just in case some other scavenger maybe comes across it at some point later? Nah, you take that shit and then have Gage pressure you into selling the surplus later even though you wanna keep it, there’s still a little bit of room in the storage, come on, Porter don’t be like this

15. What is your character’s most prized possession, and where do they keep it?

Does MAAK count? Because MAAK definitely is his pride and joy. He keeps MAAK with him as much as he can. And most likely his preferred weapon, once I figure out what it is exactly.

Medicine

16. How does your character tolerate pain? How do they handle stress and trauma?

He tolerates pain very well in the moment it happens initially. It’s not always out of survival instinct and such like I’ve specified previously, sometimes it’s just sheer embarrassment / anxiety. When he gets hurt while people see, his immediate instinct is “it’s fine, i’m fine, nothing to see here” and then he’ll go hide somewhere and decide for real if it’s actually fine or not.

He handles the aftermath of injuries a lot less well. You know the cliché of men being much more sensitive to pain/sickness than women and just being very noticeable in their misery? That’s Hector once he’s back in the safety of his home and recovering from his injuries. (usually MAAK is on the receiving end of his suffering but unfortunately for Gage it’s more satisfying to lament at someone who can actually react)

17. Does your character have any habits? Any tics, fixations, rituals, superstitions, or dependencies?

Totally. Hector is very much a creature of habit and it takes real effort to get him out of his comfort zone. He’d absolutely have a tic or two but I can’t come up with anything specific that isn’t just randomly made up. I’m thinking something along the lines of fixing his clothing a lot, like pulling at his gloves checking his collar, etc. But it’s nothing solid, so I’ll leave that aside for now.

A daily (if possible) ritual is writing in his journal. It helps him retain information and gives him some peace of mind that even if he forgets, he’ll be able to look it up again.

No superstitions (or none that I can think of). He loves to challenge superstitions actually, because it’s all complete and utter bullshit to him. This is actually one of the rare cases he does not care to think of people’s feelings first and can be a total dick on purpose. Oh you’re scared bad things will happen if I do this? Haha fuck you, not only will I open this umbrella inside, I will also smash a mirror with it and specifically point out to you that I am not knocking on wood.

18. What’s something that always makes your character feel better (physically, emotionally, mentally)?

A nice warm shower and sleeping in a clean bed afterwards. Being outside at night when it’s a little chilly and dark enough so he can take off his mask or other clothing items. Bonus points when there’s a campfire, so the lighting is nice and it’s just a little bit spooky, and he’s able to feel warmth on his skin without being burned. Being around MAAK, baby talking to him, cleaning his chassis, feeding him some trash. Listening  and singing along to his favorite music.

Melee Weapons

19. What does it take to motivate your character to violence? Do they try to avoid violence as much as possible, are they willing and able to instigate violence, or are they even outright bloodthirsty?

Necessity is his main motivator. He tries to avoid violence as much as he can (in most scenarios), but he also won’t always bend over backwards to find a peaceful solution to everything. Instigating it is kinda difficult for him though, it’s so much easier if the other one attacks first and he can react in self defense.

20. How resourceful is your character? How adept are they at improvising with things around them or repurposing random junk into valuables, weapons, or tools? 

Now this is something he excels at, mostly when there’s tech involved. Don’t just destroy turrets and robots, change their targeting parameters so they fight for him instead. Rig one up to explode and let it run into crowds of enemies. Have a speaker emit a frequency that either attracts or repels wildlife and ferals. Use that highly dangerous power line to electrocute a gatorclaw. Set up a whole grid that’ll fry the ferals or bloodworms. So many options.

21. Does your character have any comfort objects that they prefer to keep on their person as much as possible, or frequently hold in their hand just to hold it?

MAAK unfortunately does not fit in his pocket, so keeping him around at all times is more complicated. Maybe I’ll figure out some small comfort object at some point because I like the idea, but for now it’s just good old impractical emotional support robot MAAK.

Repair

22. What is your character’s single most handy trait or skill?

Engineering/robotics.

23. How concerned is your character with practicality? Are they more down-to-earth, grounded, or focused on necessity, or are they more of a dreamer, indulgent, or reckless?

More of the latter. Simple and practical things are good and all, and he’s often satisfied enough with them. But what really sparks joy is going above and beyond and just kinda off the wall sometimes. He has the resources now instead of having to just scrape by on the bare necessities, so why wouldn’t he take that opportunity??

24. How quick is your character to forgive? Are they able to earn forgiveness from others easily?

In theory, he’s the type to hold grudges. In practice, he has bad memory and sometimes forgets who wronged him or why.

Earning forgiveness doesn’t come super easy because he’s bad at communication. He shoves problems and issues aside because confronting them is uncomfortable. Even if he feels bad about X thing he did to Y person and he could just apologize.

Science

25. What kind(s) of intelligence would you say that your character does and does not have?

Thanks to a different meme I learned of the nine types of intelligence, so I’ll use those here:

High: Logical-mathematical, linguistic, spatial

Medium: musical, bodily-kinesthetic, naturalistic

Low: intrapersonal, interpersonal, existential

26. What kinds of things fascinate your character? Do they have any personal interests that aren’t necessarily practical, but that they just like?

A whole lot of things he’s interested in aren’t exactly practical. Those things are generally in the realm of book smarts, which can be useful, but often don’t have direct applications to his job or survival in general. e.g. knowing how nuclear fusion works on an atomic level is great and all but that deathclaw does not care and only wants to eat you

27. Does your character appreciate a good puzzle, or any other kind of intellectual or strategic challenge (e.g. Sudoku, chess)?

Yeah! Mostly the things he can do on his own though or things that are at least cooperative. There’s a considerable inhibition level when it comes to competitive strategy games like chess, but if ‘forced’ into a round he’d probably end up enjoying it.

Sneak

28. How does your character handle being alone in a wide-open space, being one of many in a large crowd, and being stuck with someone else one-on-one? 

Alone in wide-open spaces: hell yeah

Large crowds: hell no please get him out of there asap

One-on-one: this is ok, he can deal with this. If it’s the right person he’ll even enjoy himself.

29. How does your character behave when nobody else is around? How does this differ from how they act around strangers, friends, or lovers?

When no one is around and no one can hear him, he tends to be the most energetic, coming out of his shell. He’ll turn up the music, sing along loudly, dance around, do theatrics. Have in depth discussions about this or that with MAAK, an inanimate object, or himself. Or on the flip side just vibing quietly and comfortably.

Some of that carries over once high enough friendship levels are gained. Strangers on the other hand are not allowed to see that side of him, no, he’s just a quiet and uninteresting guy, nothing to see here.

Lovers? What’s that

30. Suppose your character just wants to disappear; where would they want to disappear to?

Far Harbor looks tempting.

Speech

31. What does your OC sound like? What is the tone of their voice, their cadence, and their vocabulary; are they particularly profane or eloquent? Are they funny, and if so, what’s their sense of humor? Are they long-winded or do they speak little, and if it’s the latter, is that only because they’re concise or is it because they have genuine trouble speaking?

His voice is on the deep side but not remarkably so. He generally speaks in a soft manner, but he can get surprisingly loud for a man of his stature. Vocabulary is all over the place. He has a tendency to be formal and use big words, but then the next moment he’s trying to describe the thingy and the stuff with the some such and whatever, like fuck man, speaking hard.

He has a case of the dad humor. Some people will find that funny, some will not find it funny but a bit endearing, and others will find it not funny and incredibly aggravating. His jokes are generally innocent enough, but he can get dark too. Usually rather dry.

How little or how much he speaks depends entirely on the situation and the topic. He rattles on endlessly about Science and has an unfortunate tendency to mansplain. But when he’s not super passionate about something, it’s just whatever. If he doesn’t feel like he has anything of value to add, he just keeps quiet.

32. Is your character a good liar, or can they manipulate people well? Are they able to conceal what they mean or what they’re feeling, or are they an open book whether they mean to be or not? 

He’s quite good at withholding information, but not at straight up lying to someone’s face. His entire attire helps a lot with concealing his feelings or intent. Having no visible facial expressions and a robotic modulated voice allow him to come across as cold and distant, downright emotionless to people who don’t know him or don’t know him well (with a bit of practice). That said, he wouldn’t even know where to start at attempting to manipulate someone.

Hector can be hard to figure out, but once you invest some time and effort into doing that (like Gage was forced to), he’s pretty much an open book in most situations.

33. What is something that could be said to your character that would be unforgivable, either by someone in general or by someone specific? How would they respond?

This is hard. Hector gets insulted / hurt fairly easily and tends to hold onto that negativity longer than he should, but all that mostly stems from his low self-esteem. And it’s rarely stuff that cuts so deep that a continued relationship / association is unthinkable. If Gage was to make it clear to Hector that making him Overboss was actually a horrible mistake and he almost wishes he had Colter back? Oof, ouch, that hurts a lot, but like… he’s not wrong. Gage knows what he’s talking about and Hector never was the perfect man for the job, nor did he want it. Yeah he was trying really hard and maybe he thought he was making good progress, but if Gage says it’s not enough, then it’s not enough.

Before I go too far off track – I’m not sure there’s really one thing someone can say that would be unforgivable. If there is, it would definitely have to be someone Hector trusts / trusted. But actions speak much louder than words. Gage saying he wishes for a different boss is one thing. It hurts but it’s a fair sentiment and doesn’t change the fact that they still have to work together. But Gage actively replacing him, spitting on all their hard work and throwing whatever relationship they had into the trash in the process? There’s no going back to normal after that.

Survival

34. How well does your character take care of themselves in the wilderness? Do they feel most at home in the wilderness, small settlements, or densely inhabited areas? Are there any particular reasons why that is?

As much as Hector likes keeping to himself, he’s not the type of survivor to go out into the deepest wilderness. He could survive out there, but his quality of life would probably be pretty bad. His ideal place would be near a small settlement, within comfortable enough walking distance but not really part of it. He can go into town maybe once a week for supplies and just be alone in his humble abode the rest of the time.

35. What kind of diet does your character keep? Is it more indiscriminate, or picky or particular? Are they good cooks, whether in a kitchen or by a fire? Do they think of food as simple sustenance, or do they appreciate indulgent dishes and finer flavors? Do they have a favorite food?

He's not a picky eater by any means. He will eat what’s on the table and not complain, unless it’s like actually rotting. His cooking is fine, of course until he gets creative with it and makes questionable combinations happen. But what I didn’t mention there is that he only rarely gets the chance to do some train wreck cooking. Usually he does have to treat food as just fuel that lets him go about his day due to the impracticality of having to wear a mask and not being able to take it off during the daytime. And it’s rather difficult to find an interior that reliably lets no sunlight in among all the ruins of the wasteland. When he’s on the road, he quite often just has to go find a reasonably dark corner in which to crouch down and cram in a nutrient bar like some kind of feral man who hasn’t eaten in a week.

36. What keeps your character going? What is the one thing that they have that could motivate them to keep persisting if they lost literally everything else?

There is not one sole thing. Hector has to find drive and motivation in anything at all, because what other choice does he have? There’s no real sense of purpose or meaning to life for someone like him, and he prefers not to think about it too much (or rather not at all). Currently, it’s the friendships he’s made. His responsibilities as Overboss. Whatever little project is on his mind right now. And when all is lost, he has to bide his time, wait until he forgets whatever or whoever he’s grieving. Then it’s back to the same old.

Unarmed

37. How good is your character with their hands or fingers? Do they have a light, gentle touch, or are they hard or uncoordinated? Does your character have any dexterous talents?

Light and gentle, his manual dexterity is above average but nothing outlandish. Just someone who works with his hands a lot and developed his skill accordingly.

38. Is your character physically expressive or do they make a lot of gestures (i.e. do they “talk with their hands”), and if so, what kinds of gestures do they make?

He’s fairly expressive with his hands – less when he’s in an uncomfortable social situation and more when he’s going off about science. It’s a way for him to compensate for the lack of facial expressions. Can’t go that deep yet to name specific actions.

39. Does your character like to be touched or touch others? How does your character value personal space? What kinds of boundaries, physical and otherwise, are important to your character?

In general, no, no touching, keep away, personal space radius is higher than most people’s. Also don’t like, ask him about his day or feelings too much. He’s open about his feelings on his own volition but shrivels up in ‘I don’t know how to communicate’ when specifically prompted. I can imagine there’s a situation of him being severely touch starved going on here, but I’m unsure how much it would take to get him to accept / feel comfortable with physical touch, let alone crave it. In the meantime, he can go hug an animal. Mason always knows when Hector’s particularly sad/emotional because that’s when he comes to the zoo to hug a furry creature. Yes MAAK is his emotional support robot and absolutely his number 1 go-to for that, but sometimes the cold metal of a robot just doesn’t cut it. Sometimes he needs something that’s equally pure of heart but warm and alive

[unpromptedreviews]

The “Conflict Test”

When I’m either reading a story or watching a show, I always make them go through my personal Conflict Test. I don’t know if this is something that has already been established (officially) in the literary world - do let me know if this is a thing already, I’m not taking credit for it haha - but this is something that I just do on my own, that has always greatly impacted my opinion on that specific book/movie/show.

The test is simple. Once the main conflict/problem has been established or made apparent in the story, I’ll ask myself:

Is the conflict something that can be solved/avoided by the characters just talking to each other?

If the answer is yes, then for me the conflict is weak and the story has failed the test. Again this is a personal preference and you can think differently. For me, the main conflict should be multi-layered. I think rich stories have powerful conflicts that should not just be resolved by the characters talking to each other. To put it simply, another character in the story should not have the power to remove the conflict just by talking, because otherwise what’s the point?

To be clear, this tests the dimensionality of the story’s main conflict. For the story to fail this test, the main conflict should be completely avoided/solved if certain characters talk to each other. Meaning, miscommunication can be an element to a conflict, but it should not be the ONLY element to it. The way I see it, if that is the only element to the conflict, then it belongs to either one of the two conflict scenarios below:

1. It’s all just a misunderstanding

This type of conflict is usually more abundant in romance stories. And it is the most FRUSTRATING thing to deal with as a reader. This is especially true if the main character, whose perspective you’re reading from, is the one misunderstanding the whole conflict.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good romance trope where the main characters don’t know both of them actually like each other. That’s some classic (not to mention satisfying) shit right there. BUT, and this is a big but, the main reason why this type of conflict pisses me off is because it negates the value and the impact of the main character’s struggles leading up to the big reveal of the misunderstanding.

It’s unfair for the main character to go through this journey, only to find out that by the end of it that it could have been avoided or solved easily if only they talked to this other character who might have knowingly or unknowingly withheld a vital piece of information. As a reader, it takes away the importance of the character’s journey leading up to the resolution. More often than not, the story feels moot - almost to the point that whatever character growth or main event that happened until then seems like it was all for nothing.

2. The other character could have easily solved the conflict

This is one, is a little bit tricky. To a certain extent, it’s almost deus ex machina, but that isn’t really my main concern for this type of conflict. My main problem for this is that it almost makes the plot very stupid. What I want is to feel stupid because I didn’t figure out a twist in the story early on, and not to feel stupid because the main characters can’t figure out that the solution is right. there.

In romance stories, this type usually exists in stories where the main conflict is the fallout of a couple. Something happens to Person A (most common tropes are: (1) family/friends of the other person threatening them secretly, or (2) they find out a secret about the other person but not wanting to confront them about it), and they keep quiet and not tell their partner (Person B) which leads to them falling out. Usually, these stories also end with Person A finally telling Person B about it, and B making adjustments to make it right so that they can live happily ever after.

Which is just plain shitty. Why? Because then, the conflict feels shallow - almost laughable. The story immediately gets resolved after they tell the other person. What was the point of everything??

So does that mean I don’t like conflicts connected to miscommunication?

NOT AT ALL.

Again, the main point of my Conflict Test is to test the dimensionality of the central conflict in the story. A story will only fail if the WHOLE CONFLICT can be solved/avoided by the characters talking. If there’s another dimension to it, let’s say a couple falling out because of miscommunications BUT ALSO because they are dealing with their own personal issues outside of their relationship (personality-wise, like mental health issues) then I don’t think it fails the the conflict test. In fact, if there’s one thing I’m a sucker for, it’s stories whose main conflict revolve around character development.

So what’s the point of this? I wanted to explain this Conflict Test because it is a big part of the way I review books/movies/series. As I said, my perception of the quality of the story-telling is greatly impacted by whether or not it passes the Conflict Test. I didn’t want to have to explain this every single time I do a review, so I’ll probably be linking my reviews to this post, to provide more context on what I’m pretty sure would be a staple segment in my reviews.

Hope the reviews I write make sense for you! It’s really just a way for me to rant my personal opinions on these things so don’t be so insulted if you have a different one lol We might have different taste on things so your opinions are very valid even if it goes against what I’m writing.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on literary pieces, not real-life events because if that’s the case, opinions DO matter and there is a choice be on the humane side of things - if you get my drift *wink*

Happy reading!

[mattkenzie]

Games of the Decade (2010-2019 Edition)

So since 2020 is approaching, I thought I’d make a list of games that I’ve played during my journey, the year is 2010 I was about 23 years old (on the cusp of being 24) and I’ve decided to stop playing World of Warcraft for my own physical and mental health (you see I never thought that this would happen to me being addicted to that game for so many years that I have shunned away from society, I gave up on humanity, I didn’t want to go out and celebrate with my ‘friends’ and Azeroth became my home for the past 6 years and it became an unhealthy obsession that one day I’ve collapsed at home and woke in a hospital.) When the doctors were swarming around my bed asked me “Can I remember what happened to me before I collapsed?” the answered but then they bombarded me with more questions... I wanted to scream “STOP!”, until one doctor (a psychiatrist) overheard my story and had an emergency 1-to-1 session with him, he even asked the ‘right questions’ (funny how we can say the wrong answers... but the wrong questions? Made me laugh.) The phychiatrist smiled and said “Welcome back”.

So I’ve decided to quit World of Warcraft and started to readjust to society that my Mum gave me an XBox 360. Now I was overwhelmed by the choices I didn’t know where to start (granted I had the Wii and now an XBox 360) I was really lost in thought until someone actually wanted to talk to me I shall call him ‘Dan’ and we hit it off “Yes, I do look like I am lost you see I am a recovering World of Warcrack addict and I am given an XBox 360, what games do you recommend?” and this is when Dan got out Borderlands, Fallout, Fallout: New Vegas (2010 Honourable Mention) and Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 (2010). You see Dan’s preferred genre is Shoot ‘em ups and I on the other hand tend to enjoy RPGs so I got the best of both worlds.

Mass Effect 2 has this system where if you played and completed Mass Effect you can import your save file, get some additional perks and pick up where you have left off. I seem to like that concept where “Do I need to play the first game to play and understand the story?” to me the answer is “yes” as you gain additional content but it’s the iconic “suicide squad mission”

So we are at 2011 and Minecraft (2011 Honourable Mention) is in it’s infancy and even though I’ve played it later, I enjoyed watching the Yogscast’s “Shadow of Israfel” series and there are times when I occasionally watch a YouTube video looking at other people’s creations (“Man, I need to get myself a copy of Minecraft when I finish my games of the decade.” —Matt. But only 2 games have approached me and they are Xenoblade Chronicles (2011) and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (2011). With the Wii going into retirement and even though Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2011 Honourable Mention) is a popular title in the Wii library... I went down the niche path and picked Xenoblade Chronicles is the perfect swan song for the Wii and one of my all time favourite games that I’ve enjoyed playing. There are many things that Xenoblade Chronicles has offered me and what appealed to me are...

The amazing soundtrack (where it has music for the day and the night cycles)... I tend to use the nighttime music to help me go to sleep.

The unique world building, where Homs, Nopon and (there is this race of angels I can’t remember what they are called) live on these dead gigantic titans Bionis and the Mechonis.

A story that started out Shulk wanting revenge but that revenge eventually turned into understanding.

With Skyrim I ALWAYS seem to find my way coming back to this game as it gives me a ton of replay value that I even create my own D&D characters and put them in Skyrim. Whenever I am stressed with the latest releases I sometimes pop in Skyrim and go on all these adventures and explore and when I had enough I know I can always go to Whiterun and stay in Breezehome. I sometimes go on YouTube to watch my Grandma play Skyrim (OK she is not biologically my Grandma but she adopted/treated us like her grandkids).

During this 4 year skip all the way to 2014 and I’ve developed an awesome relationship with Dan for 5 years and I moved out of my parents house in 2011 (I was suffocating in my parents house (my sister was hit by clinical depression and my brother got kicked out of his flat by his knife weilding maniac of a wife) I am an adult and I NEED my own space so what did I get for a housewarming gift? Borderlands 2 (2014) I still have the loot box. But my independence was short lived by my roommate who I shall call William and he was so toxic to me and my friends who come round to visit, there was an incident when I left the house he goes into my room and steals my belongings (I know had to lock my bedroom door) It was Thanksgiving when I was in need of rescuing and William was becoming domestic abusive towards me and Dan’s Dad Scott who was visiting from the States felt a disturbance in the force... he felt that I was in danger and he was right. I had to move into a new flat (I was happy to live on my own) Dan saw it, my parents saw it and even my support workers saw how crappy/unhappy I was. When I moved into my new flat, Dan gave me a parting gift Shovel Knight (2014)

Now 2015 I have picked up the pieces that I’ve lost and rediscovered my sense of self after how much William warped mine for a few years and I’ve finally move on from it. With Dan moving back to the States and I picked up a copy of The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt (2015) on a later date (I personally never thought it be be ported onto the Switch) I developed the concept that humans can be monsters (even in politics) and monsters can have a shred of humanity.

With 2017 was was hoping for Persona 5 to be released on Valentines Day but it was rescheduled and for me who has 8th Grader Syndrome (I know when to keep my Chunnibyou dormant and when to let my hair down and embrace it when the time is right) I enjoyed the story of how us millennials and Gen Z get to be viewed as degenerates. With the Wii U going into retirement I got the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and although not entirely my favourite Zelda title... I am a person who loves to have direction/structure and more importantly story (and not just charge into Hyrule Castle and fight Calamity Ganon) to have that amount of freedom and I can easily get distracted “Oooh let’s have a look over there!” I regret not giving Super Mario Odyssey (Honourable Mention) a chance nor gave it a fair shake, I bought the Switch because both of the joy-cons are uniform (I was leaning towards getting the grey but red spoke out to me the loudest).

2018 Super Smash Bros Ultimate need I need to say more? OK, I enjoyed the opening song Lifelight... Everyone is here (to have Roy from Fire Emblem) I even loved seeing the DLC fighters not being exclusive to Nintendo (Atlus) Joker from Persona 5, (Rare) Banjo Kazooie, (Square) ‘Hero’ from the Dragon Quest series, (SNK) Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury... although I wanted the Garou: Mark of the Wolves costume added into the equation.

2019 was the year that hit me hard the most Fire Emblem: Three Houses reminded me that I need to cherish the friends I have, I grew up with them since school and college but we all went on our separate paths. Some are married, some started have a family, some have jobs and some have moved to a different country. When I dumped my old friends that I grew up with since my childhood (but felt left out all the time) for new ones that I known for a decade as adults (and had a lot in common and felt that I was included.) So when Dan died in 2019... I felt a huge piece of me was ripped away from me... the man who exposed me to console gaming... I am never going to see him again.

[bthump]

Thx 4 your compelling answer! You made me curious about what do you think Guts and Griffith would be like as a couple, how do you imagine their dynamic would develop and grow. Not super chill I agree lmao but it's very interesting given their respective baggages. And kind of unrelated but I was soo mad that Casca insisted Guts to leave the 2nd time even when Guts was like: HEY I WANNA STAY FOR REAL. But Griffith never knew that. Hurts but that's the kind of element that makes for a great tragedy

ikr! Man that scene where Griffith overhears them is so painful. Like it makes sense that Casca would tell Guts to leave imo for a few reasons (mainly because Guts successfully convinced her after they had sex that it was what he ~really truly wanted~ lol, and also I think there’s some interesting selfishness on her part there too) but man, it’s tragic.

Anyway back at you, thanks for the interesting questions. lol idk where to start with this one really because like, there’s so much to potentially say, and so many potential ways for their relationship to go, like I don’t really have One True Concept of their relationship, there are so many possibilities and options.

Holy shit this got ridiculously long lol, sorry. I just used the opportunity to throw out like as many of my griffguts opinions as I could reasonably fit lmao.

I guess there are a few things that I tend to stick to when I’m imagining them together in like a Golden Age AU where everything worked out, tho ofc none of this is set in stone.

Like, if this is an AU without the whole overheard Promrose Hall speech that changes everything, I tend to think Guts is more likely to make the first move. Like say Guts didn’t hear the speech but still fell off the cliff with Casca and got her monologue, and without his feelings of inadequacy clouding his understanding he actually starts to get it, like, I pretty much think Guts would’ve kissed him during Tombstone of Flame 2. Griffith being openly afraid of Guts’ judgement -> Guts impulsively demonstrating exactly how he really feels about him.

But also just in general I think Guts is more likely to act on his feelings without thinking about potential consequences or how it could’ve gone wrong until afterwards, so I can imagine a lot of scenarios where he’d make the first move. Whereas even if Griffith did figure out how he feels and what he wants, it’s harder for me to see him going for it. On the one hand yeah he does have that “I must obtain what I desire” attitude, on the other hand what he wants is for Guts to love and want him, and he’d know that, and he’d know that kissing Guts is not necessarily going to get him that, and might end up ruining everything he does have.

Like, dude has a major fear of rejection.

But I guess I could see him also impulsively going for it in a more extreme moment - like the way his mind shuts off and he runs to save Guts from Zodd, I could imagine a thank god you’re alive type kiss, eg. But imo he’d need more of a push than Guts would.

And yeah I think both of their respective traumas would affect things, but I’d prefer to delay that a bit? I want them to have a good positive sexual encounter before they start sorting through all their issues together, basically so they have proof that it’s worth persisting lol, and I think that’s pretty easy to manage. Like, they start making out and end up jerking each other off and no one has any flashbacks, easy peasy.

I could see them getting past a bad first time, but it wouldn’t be easy lol. Like first off they’re both overly likely to take it as a personal condemnation, even if logically that’s not how trauma works, because they both hate themselves, and they both canonically have a fear of being monstrous/predatory. Griffith asking if Guts thinks he’s cruel and tbqh most of his speech to the King in the dungeon is indicative of this imo, and Guts seeing himself as a monster after killing Adonis and also in canon flashbacking from his rapist’s perspective.

And yk, if they do start having sex without immediate issues, I imagine the first problem that would come up sooner rather than later would be Guts flashbacking. I tend to assume he would be upfront about not wanting to get fucked without saying why, and Griffith would be fine with that, and then Guts would still eventually have a flashback while topping and it would take him by surprise like in canon. I could see Guts reacting basically the exact same way he did with Casca, rambly confessional and all, and I think Griffith would be supportive and comforting and understanding in the immediate aftermath. Hopefully Guts would make it very clear that it had nothing to do with anything Griffith did or anything about him and he still wants to get laid on the regular, because otherwise I could see something stupid happening afterwards like Griffith withdrawing out of fear of his potential to Guts and Guts blaming himself for making things weird and neither of them talking about it until something gives.

Anyway if they do successfully navigate that, the next problem would be more insidious, and it would be Griffith, and the way he views sex as transactional. Like when I say Griffith would be fine with never topping, I think that holds true entirely regardless of what Griffith might actually want personally from a sexual encounter. He’d let Guts fuck him even if he hated it, because what he wants is the emotional closeness and Guts needing him and wanting him. I think he actually would want sex with Guts for its own sake and enjoy it, like he’s attracted to Guts and he wants him and I def don’t think he would hate it in any way. Buuut I see him as very detached from his own physical desires, yk? Dude has never had sex because he wanted to have sex, even the evil personification of his inner darkness didn’t lol.

And along with that you could have the additional problem of enjoying sex with a man being another potential source of self-loathing for him. I’m thinking because of ‘am I dirty?” in the river, and again the scene in the dungeon w/ the King lends itself to this really well too. Like it’s so easy to read internalized homophobia into his narrative imo, even the entire structure of it, with Charlotte and the dream on one side and Guts on the other.

And basically I think those issues would combine to make him see sex as something he gives in return for Guts’ love/loyalty/presence, and avoid seeing it as something he personally wants. So like basically I think in a way he’d use that transactional framework as a justification for doing something he really really wants to do (sex with Guts) but that he doesn’t want to acknowledge he wants because it makes him hate himself because a) internalized homophobia and also b) deep down he knows he wants Guts more than the dream which also makes him feel guilty.

Also like, when it comes to Griffith and his issues I don’t think any of this is required, like canonically we know Guts’ csa trauma affects him but we don’t really know how Griffith’s csa trauma affects him. I wouldn’t see it as out of character if he was ultimately fine with his desire for Guts and doesn’t contribute any issues to the griffguts sex life. But it’s really really easy to see how he could have a metric ton of issues with sex to work through, and I think those would be really interesting to explore, basically.

Plus I don’t necessarily think this would actually… matter? Like I could easily see Griffith never giving Guts any cause for concern, they never talk about this, Griffith himself barely notices that he’s got a messed up attitude towards sex, and eventually he just internally works through it himself as his relationship with Guts progresses and he gets more comfortable with wanting Guts and wanting sex for its own sake and he achieves his dream regardless of his emotional priorities, etc. Like this could all easily work itself out in Griffith’s subconscious without any external drama lol. (Tho if Guts ever picked up on this it would def fuck him up and the fallout would be big.)

ANYWAY so that’s all the trauma stuff I could see influencing their relationship.

Overall I think there’d be way more good than bad. They’re perfect for each other. Griffith wants Guts to know him and see all the stuff he hates about himself and want him anyway, and Guts would absolutely do that, and demonstrate it thoroughly, and it would do wonders for Griffith’s self-acceptance. Guts wants Griffith to pay attention to him, to love him and respect him and look at him, and being in a relationship with him would give him everything he wants. The way Griffith looks at him after they kiss or while they’re fucking or whatever, like he’s the only thing in the world, would be the highlight of Guts’ life. Guts fucking Griffith like he needs him, or making love to him with reverence, or demonstrating casual closeness and affection, would be the highlight of Griffith’s.

I think Charlotte and the dream would be a bit of an issue for Guts, like I could see him being jealous, but I could also see him being totally able to see Charlotte as business and himself as the person Griffith wants. The fact that they’re fucking behind Charlotte’s back would itself be probably enough proof of how much Griffith wants him and is willing to risk for him to make Guts feel secure. Like basically I could see jealous insecure Guts telling Griffith they should break it off because the risk to his dream is too much and Griffith refusing out of hand, and that being a big moment for Guts and his feelings of security in their relationship.

Eventually I think the most satisfying direction their relationship could go would be Griffith decisively choosing Guts over the dream and having grown enough in their years together that he’s able to live with that choice and be happy with Guts instead of a big exaggerated dream lol. As far as I’m concerned that’s the secret Berserk happy ending that they never got a chance to get to, but is wholly telegraphed by the story as something that could’ve happened if everything hadn’t gone wrong.

Hmm what else. Random details I guess: I think they’d start out with Guts exclusively topping when they have penetrative sex but Guts would absolutely eventually want Griffith to fuck him imo, and their first time switching it up would be pretty emotionally intense but extremely good and positive. They’d be really close and trusting and more effectively communicative by then, and it would work great and Guts would bask in the attention as Griffith v thoroughly makes love to him.

Also when Griffith achieves his dream and runs Midland they would both be extremely into Guts getting a little possessive and staking his claim on him, like by fucking him hard enough that he can feel it throughout the next day, or scratches/bruises under clothes, etc. Nothing super kinky, I think they’re both pretty vanilla lol, but Guts would love knowing Griffith is being constantly reminded of him while he’s at meetings with nobles or w/e and Griffith would love that lingering reminder.

I think at some point early on they’d have to have a talk in which Guts asserts that he wants to stay with Griffith and the Hawks and doesn’t feel obligated because he lost a fight when they were 15. I could see that thought eating away at Griffith for a while if they don’t. Also because the question of whether they’re equals or not is kind of hammered in in canon I think they’d have to navigate around Griffith technically being Guts’ commander. I don’t think Guts would think twice about it (again assuming he hasn’t heard the Promrose Hall speech) but Griffith would worry, especially given exchanges like “that’s why I’m asking you to do this” “just order me to do it” lol. So they’d have to at least talk about that.

Or conversely they could not talk about Guts potentially feeling obligated and it could blow up in their faces and lead to miscommunication drama. I mean there are so many potential ways they could fuck things up by not talking and assuming the worst at the first sign of an issue lmao, it’s like, you want relationship drama just take your pick.

Also relatedly, I think this is a little bit of an unpopular opinion, at least judging by most of the griffguts fic I’ve read lol, but I really don’t see Griffith as likely to behave possessively at all, unless he thinks Guts is about to leave him and is like next to having a breakdown about it, and even then… idk. I think the second duel was extremely atypical - Griffith defaulted to trying to fight Guts for his loyalty because that’s how he won his loyalty the first time and it was the only way Griffith saw to keep his loyalty, he was extremely out of his depth emotionally lol, and I think there’s some big indications that he hated himself for it afterwards.

He wants Guts to want him, to choose to be with him of his own desire, he wants Guts to love him. I think he would abhor the thought that Guts was obligated to stay with him in any way, and any indications of that would freak him out and add to his self loathing. So he wouldn’t tell Guts “you’re mine” as part of sexy foreplay or whatever, and he wouldn’t order him to do shit lol (along with this like I don’t think Griff is dominant at all, and trying to be with someone he loves would fuck him up).

I think the biggest problem for both of them would be a tendency to assume the worst and just blame themselves for whatever instead of talking. But I also think the longer they’re in a relationship the better they’ll get at not doing that and at constructive positive communication lol.

Like at the end of the day again I think there’d be way more positives than negatives. We’re shown how perfectly they fulfill each others’ needs. Guts wants attention, Griffith wants acceptance, they both want to be loved, and before the misunderstandings get in the way and fuck it all up their relationship benefits both and starts helping both heal emotionally. If they stayed together and added romance and sex to the mix I think overall they’d be pretty ideal partners.

Ooookay I think I’ve talked more than enough about this lmao. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to just ramble for ages about a bunch of griffguts stuff. Honestly if anyone reads through this to the end I’ll be slightly surprised lol.